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THE BACHELOR 6 LINKS
10.20.04
Was it just me, or did it seem like the “Bachelor” hasn’t been on for about a month? I know they only took last week off so America could hear both of those windbags dance around every question asked of them, but man, I almost needed to take a refresher course on this show once it started last night. Cynthia? Who? Wasn’t she in Firestone’s season? Elizabeth? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen this girl before. Then once I saw Humpty Dumpty reappear, it all came back to me very clearly. This is the season with old fisherman guy, the egg headed woman, the psycho chick, Bob Guiney’s sloppy seconds who’s looking to get impregnated on national television, and a couple other Botox ridden hussies. Ah yes, the “Bachelor”. Season Six. How could I have possibly forgotten these cast of characters. Let’s begin….
-The show starts with mystery girl Cynthia getting some camera time. This is shocking because if I’m not mistaken, this is about the 3rd time she’s been on camera in four episodes. Congrats to her. She’s really long for this game. Anyway, Mystery girl makes Byron some Sangria and they go have a little talk. Cynthia wants to lay out to Byron a little about herself. Please do. None of us know who the hell you are either. Cynthia: “I’m not shy, but I’m not overbearing or manipulative either. And I think some of the girls here are that way to get your attention.” Well, usually that’s how it works. Be a camera hog, or be a bitch, and you’ll get the most attention. Congrats on making it to the final six without still having a one-on-one date. This has got to be some sort of record, doesn’t it?
-Cynthia: “Do you think I’m too good for you?” Byron: “No. Do you think I’m too good for you?” Cynthia: “No. Do you think I’m too good for you?” Byron: “No. Do you think I’m too good for you?” Cynthia: “No. Do you think I’m too good for you?” Byron: “No. Can we stop this s**t please?” Well, it didn’t really happen that many times, but I got sick of it just once. Are you too good for him? Well, yeah. Most of you women are. Have you seen his ex’s? You haven’t? Just pick up the latest skin rag of “Swank”, or “Jugs”, or “Cream” at the local newsstand. I’m sure you’ll find an ex or two in there, then tell me if you think you’re too good for him.
-First “white rose” date goes to Tanya, and they’ll be going to Newport Beach Harbor. Now, this date wasn’t actually confirmed to Tanya until he picked her up and they arrived there. The invitation just said something cheesy like, “Tanya, come with me, I’ll whisk you away, blah blah blah blah”. But if you read yesterday’s television section in the newspaper, or have TiVo like I do now, the description of last night’s show said, “Byron goes on two ‘white rose’ dates; one with Tanya to Newport Beach Harbor, and one with Elizabeth to the Aquarium of the Pacific.” Gee thanks. Since when does this get ruined for us beforehand? Usually we had to actually wait until the show started to find out which psycho girls get to go on the solo dates while the other sat home and pouted. Now we know beforehand? Booooooooooooo.
-Byron and Tanya shuttle off in a limo down to Newport Beach where a cool sports car awaits them, and Byron will drive them to dinner, sort of. I’m just curious as to what the hell part of Newport Beach they were in on a sunny afternoon, and there wasn’t one single car on the road. This is supposed to be believable? Uhhhh, they’re in Southern California. That is Newport Beach. Right on the water. I’m guessing there’s going to be one or 10,000 SUV’s and Mercedes’ with the sunroof’s open going 90 mph while talking on the phone and honking at each other. That must’ve been some traffic scene to block off a whole major street in Newport so these two could coast down PCH. That’s Pacific Coast Highway for those of you unfortunate enough to live outside the Southern California area. God bless your souls.
-So as Byron’s going 100 mph down the street with traffic blocked off just for his date, they start approaching the water, yet he ain’t slowing down. I thought this was turning into an episode of “Fear Factor” before our eyes. Anyway, the car plunges into the water, getting her nice dress and his nice suit all wet. At this point, I’m scratching my head. Until Byron reveals what the hell is now going on: He’s driving a transformer. This thing they’re in is apparently a car/boat. So he turns on the engines, and they boat over to where they’re supposedly having dinner. Wait a second. Huh? What in the hell just happened? There’s actually such a thing as a car/boat? I thought those were just toys and things that five year olds wish for? “When I grow up, I want a really, really, really fast car that can go 200 miles an hour, then when it hits the water, it turns into a boat!” There, there Johnnie. When you grow up, you can get anything you want.
-I’m still completely baffled. There is such a thing now where a car can turn itself into a boat. You can just drive your car off a bridge, land in the water, then boat on over to your next destination. Shouldn’t this have been like the first thing on the news the second it came out? How have I never heard of this before? Having lived in Southern California most of my life, I feel like I have some sort of knowledge as to the cool, hip, trendy things on the market. If you would’ve told me there was such a thing, I might have laughed in your face. And that’s before I punched you in the stomach and told you to shut the hell up.
-Commercial. Speaking of the news. It’s October 20th. I’m living in Los Angeles. It is now officially that time of year. The time of year in Southern California where the ½ inch of rain we’re getting is the top story on every 10:00 news channel out there. Out here, they call it “Storm Watch”, or “Storm Track”, or “God We’re All Gonna Die Because Our First Drop of Rain Just Touched the Pavement.” Sickening. I guess I have about two more months of this. Grown people, in rubber suits, standing outside in the rain telling the listening audience that, well, it’s raining. And be careful. Don’t drive too fast. Thanks for that. You know, tomorrow morning I was actually thinking of seeing how fast I can go in and out of lanes while on two wheels and then throwing it into neutral during the downpour. Newscasters are idiots.
-So Byron and Tanya show up to dinner and they’re all wet…..from the car/boat. No, not from anything else. Yet. Anyway, I’m totally amazed at watching these two discuss absolutely nothing important over dinner and all the while, Tanya’s hair never got any of the frizzies that usually accompany your hair getting wet and not being able to take care of it. So either one of two things happened here: She either went with the flow and didn’t complain, or she through a fit because Byron put her through that and now she had to go on a date and look like Medusa, so the producers accommodated her and let makeup take care of her for a good two hours. Maybe that’ll be on the uncut DVD.
-Byron asks Tanya if she has a type. Tanya: “A type? No. I’m just looking for a best friend. Is that what you’re looking for?” Byron: “Yeah.” These two’s conversations are mind blowing. Although it would’ve been really funny if Byron responded with, “Actually, you know, I’m just kinda lookin’ to break Guiney’s record of how many girls I can lay throughout this whole process. It won’t be easy to do, but hopefully through a couple drinks and couple toys I brought along with me, maybe it can happen.” Maybe that’s on the uncut DVD as well.
-He takes her over to some living room and they “close talk”. You know, where you talk one millimeter away from each other’s face, and whisper, even though no one else is around? That’s what they did. Tanya then shows this dog his first piece of meat. Tanya: “What are we going to do next? You’re in control now.” Byron then proceeded to clean her teeth with his tongue. On and on the kissing went and I started to feel queezy.
-Byron about the date: “She grew on me. She’s more than I actually hoped for.” Translation: I had no idea she’d even put out on our first date, and now that she did, she moves to the top of the list. Until the next girl I go out with does the same, then I’ll like her better. Outside of his two stripper ex’s, it doesn’t seem like Byron has much of a dating past. What a cheesedick.
-Back at the house, the ladies are gossiping. I know. Shocker. I think Egghead pins Andrea into admitting that she’s in love with Byron, or something to that effect. Whatever she did, Andrea broke down and basically said she was in love with a guy she’s known for two weeks. Who’s a pro fisherman. And has a mullet. Humpty: “Andrea’s very melodramatic. She’s different than the rest of us. A little bit over the top.” Hello pot? This is the kettle calling. Holy smokes. Did Oval Head just say that? About Andrea? Hmmmm…..
-So as the women keep badgering Andrea, and Andrea keeps giving them more ammo by telling them how much she’s in love, Byron and Tanya arrive home from their date. And they start kissing. No, not tongue where it’s silent and no one can hear. No, this is more lip smacking kissing to where all the other snitches in the other room can hear and get jealous. I thought I saw Andrea reaching for some rope and a chair to hang herself. So Byron walks into the living room and there are all the women giving him and his messed up hair the evil eye. He does the smart thing and does what any man who’s been caught with their pants down does. He gets the hell out of there as soon as possible. No need to stick around there much longer. Can only lead to bad things.
-Commercial. “Extreme Makeover: House Edition” is literally becoming the Sunday Night Movie of the Week. You know, that tear jerker they usually steal off a couple hundred runnings on “Lifetime”. I mean, you couldn’t make these sob stories up if you tried. “This week, on another gut wrenching ‘Extreme Makeover’, this lady can’t afford to wash the clothes on her back, but our makeover team will build her the house she’s always dreamed of in 48 hours. You’ll never believe what they come up with. Tune in Sunday night to find out.” I’ve never been in construction, I don’t know the first thing about it, and probably never will. However, I do know that you can’t take a wrecking ball to a house, and completely rebuild the thing in a week like this show claims it does. And just because the Richardson family down the street with five kids all throw on a hard hat and paint a couple ceilings, doesn’t mean it speeds it up that much. Just one time, I want to see them do a makeover to the 8.8 million dollar home Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston own. Just once to see the looks on their face when their bedroom the size of Rhode Island gets torn down.
-Before Byron’s second date with Elizabeth, he’s getting a massage down with Mary. Mystery girl is still head scratching as to why she gets no alone time. Mystery girl: “I get it now. He likes brunettes with small boobs.” Well, either that, or he doesn’t like blonde bimbos with fake ones and plastic masks on.
-Byron and Mary’s conversation was the first highlight of the show for me. Why? Because somehow that self-promoting, camera hungry, pig of all pigs, Bob Guiney’s name got brought up. Mary: “I want to find my soulmate.” Byron: “Did you think you found that in Bob?” Mary: “Yeah, I did. He was saying all the right things to me.” And all the while this conversation is going on, we see old clips of Bob lying to her face, and Bob sending her away in the limo. Outstanding. Nothing like being refreshed on the worst Bachelor ever chosen for this show. And no, Mary’s not emotionally scarred for life from Bob’s antics. Not at all. C’mon. You really think that? No way. She’s fine. Look at her. She’s completely over it.
-Mary: “I want someone who’s honest, who loves life, and who loves me for me.” This apparently swept Byron off his feet. Byron: “If I had a type, Mary would fit that description.” So you’re calling Mary a stripper?
-Byron: “I felt something. It has to be explored.” Whoa. Hold up. Isn’t this something she should be saying? I think it would be much more appropriate if Mary started exploring something that she felt. Usually works better that way. At first. Then if she finds what she felt, and it still feels good, then she can keep exploring further. Byron can do his exploring later on. Plenty of time for that.
-Mary: “I had walls up when I came into this show. I had to let my walls down.” No, she’s not scarred whatsoever. Bob’s hypocrisy hasn’t turned this woman into a complete nutjob when it comes to relationships and men at all. Mary seems to be coping well with her first experience on this show. Granted, the man she thought was the one of her dreams, and the one she thought would produce little Mary’s and Bob’s, actually didn’t quite turn out to be the charmer that he appeared to be. Imagine that. I wonder what Mary thinks now that Bob has allegedly knocked up his wife and is due with his first child in April. Wow. For a guy who was pretty confused on what he wanted a year ago, and now he’s already hitched with a kid on the way, yeah, he pretty much got over on all of America. And ABC. Congrats.
-Elizabeth has the next one-on-one date. And if Cynthia is the Mystery Girl, Elizabeth is a freakin’ ghost. I had completely forgotten this chick was even on the show and that she even had a name. After a while, I figured I’d just start calling her Tiger Woods due to her striking resemblance to the world'’ most popular golfer. Don’t get me wrong. Elizabethe doesn’t look nearly as much like Tiger as Ruthie from “Real World: Hawaii” did, but she’s pretty damn close. Too bad she only has about 33 minutes left on the show.
-As the newspaper and TiVo mentioned, they’re at the Aquarium of the Pacific for their date. I don't know where this is and I don’t care. You know why? Not a big fan of aquariums. Not a big fan of fish in general. I’ll eat em’, I just don’t want to look at them. Big pet peeve of mine? People who call fish their “pets”. “Johnnie, do you have any pets?” Johnnie: “Yeah, I have a goldfish named Abraham.” (Actually, that was Arnold from “Diff’rent Strokes, but that’s ok. And why have I used the name “Johnnie” twice already in referencing little children. Is every little child named Johnnie? Why am I talking about little children so much this column? And why am I typing out the thoughts that are running through my head right now? Ok, I’ll stop). My point being, fish aren’t pets. They’re decorations. An aquarium full of exotic fish is a decoration for your house, they’re not your pets. A rule to live by: Anything that you can flush down your toilet when it’s dead can never be considered a pet. Remember that.
-Elizabeth came with the artillery for Byron. “I just wanted to get inside your head a bit. What are you like when you get angry?” Byron: “Well, I really like to have a sense of calmness, talk it out rationally, let both sides explain their stories, blah blah blah. Then if that doesn’t work, and all other avenues have been exhausted, I’ll excuse myself for 10 minutes where I can go calm down.” Uh huh. I’m sure that’s how all your arguments go. C’mon Elizabeth. Did you honestly expect him to answer, “Well, if that bitch doesn’t shutup and let me talk, usually I get so pissed off, my face turns bright red, I start throwing expensive s**t around the house like it’s going out of style, then I grab her by the arm, shake her a few times, and try to knock a little sense into her?” And considering Byron’s knack for dating strippers, all that doesn’t seem so far fetched.
-So after his two one-on-one dates (yes, Elizabeth’s lasted a total of about 15 seconds, in TV time. Hence, the swift kick in the ass she got at the end of the show. If you get an alone date, and the producers felt the need to show only about 1/100th of what happened, yeah, we should kinda figure you ain’t gonna be here too much longer), Byron comes back to the house and decides hanging out for the night, giving the girls lingerie and champagne, and playing Truth or Dare would be the way to go for the night. Gee, you think? And to think he probably came up with that idea all by himself. Boy, maybe I am underestimating Byron’s intellect. He might actually be more than a 40 IQ guy.
-As the ladies were digging through the slutty outfits, a couple had reservations about the whole thing. Elizabeth: “I don’t want to come across as too hoochie.” And Jayne felt embarrassed since she’s Ms. Shy. I don’t know about you guys, but usually when I’m shy, I find myself slipping into a French Maid lingerie outfit too. As for you Elizabeth, don’t worry about being too hoochie. Apparently Byron picked all these out, threw them in a bag, rubbed his body all over them, then decided to come on over. I’m guessing he pre-approved every outfit in there. Byron: “There is not a woman in that house who’ll make pajamas or lingerie look bad.” Byron, got some bad news for you. Krysta Oval Head is still in the house. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.
-So Oval Office came downstairs first in her lingerie and her and Byron got playful. Apparently also in his bag of goodies were cans and cans of silly string. So Byron whipped out his can and stringed all over Egghead. Egghead in return, stringed all over him. It was a big mess of strings. Then when the rest of the ladies came down, everyone stringed on each other. It was quite a sight. Byron stringing on more than one girl at a time. Couple of the girls stringing on each other. Then Byron stringing on one girl, while one was stringing on him. Crazy stuff. I had to leave the room I was getting so worked up. Woops.
-After everyone was stringed out, “Truth or Dare” started. And how unpredictable was this going to be? Eight girls after the same guy, numerous bottles of champagne have been downed, and a game of “Truth or Dare” begins. This should be good. First one up in Andrea, and she asks for a dare. The girls dare her to give Byron a strip tease. I mean, can Byron ask for anything better. It’s like he never left home. Or his last two girlfriends. So Andrea immediately begins the strip tease, and she works it like a champ. Almost too good. In fact, if straddling the brass pole on Saturday nights isn’t already part of her weekly routine, it probably should be. Dental hygenist? Please. That’s what they all say they do. A perfect 8-5 job to have while dancing for dollars at night. All you have to do is follow the head dentist around and hand him mirrors, scrapers, gauze, and that gooey puddy that makes you gag when they want to get an impression of your mouth. Blech! I’m gagging just thinking of it.
-Byron (somehow with a straight face when the dance was over): “I don’t handle strip clubs very well.” So, was he saying he’s just not a fan of the whole strip club scene, or when he said he didn’t handle strip clubs well, was he saying that every time he visits one, he doesn’t handle them well because he seems to walk out of there with three cash advances on his credit card totaling over $5,000? I was a little confused by this.
-Jayne gets the next truth or dare, and she asks for a truth. So someone asks her if she ever thought about kissing Mystery girl. Jayne seems pretty appalled by this, as are I’m guessing 99% of the women who were watching the show at the time. Me and 99% of the men watching the show? We thoroughly enjoyed that line of questioning and hope they ask more like them in the near future, thank you very much.
-Next scene has all the girls going crazy dancing around in their lingerie (no stringing on each other. They seemed to be too worn out to do that anymore), and they even showed a clip of Mary dancing. She’s a dancer, you know. That clip was obviously put there for a reason, because about four seconds later, the clip is of Mary lying on pillow with a slice of pizza in her hand acting as if someone just shot her dog. Uh oh. Someone needs attention. “Let’s see. While all the other girls are dancing and having fun, I’ll pretend to be sad so Byron will pay attention to me and not seven other asses shaking like jello.” Good strategy.
-Strategy works. Byron pulls Mary outside to discuss what’s wrong. Mary informs Byron all the dancing and canoodling in the lingerie is bringing back memories when her and some of the girls did the exact same thing for Bob (See, told you she was over him. She totally has moved on with her life and that’s a thing of the past). They even went as far as to show the clip of her dancing for Bob in her lingerie and Bob’s pervert-like reaction to it. Kinda reminded you of a sexual predator/old horny guy that’s about 10 years too old to hang out at the bars. That was Bob. Mary is disturbed. It’s almost like Vietnam flashbacks she’s having, except it there are no bombs and people dying. It’s just Bob being a prick and it’s scaring the holy hell out of her.
-Mary: “Maybe you should let me go. I can see myself falling for you. But not like this.” Ummmmm….I don’t think the Bob Guiney experience has helped Mary whatsoever. She seems a bit….shall we say….oh I don’t know…emotionally, physically, and mentally wrecked by it all. But other than that, she’s doing great. Byron calms her down, promises not to wear a jimmy if she promises to not take her pill, and she seems all right in about 30 seconds time. But I must say, that’s one hell of a strategy she pulled off. “Hmmm….how do I pull a man away from 7 half naked women dancing around and throwing themselves at his feet? I know. I’ll make up flashback stories about my ex-whatever you want to call him. He’ll have to pay attention to me then.” Hey, not saying I agreed with the other girls reactions, but I understand.
-Commercial. “Desperate Housewives” apparently is the new water cooler show everyone is talking about. Haven’t seen it yet, but I could’ve sworn I saw the first time around when it was called “Sex and the City”. Now, I know the concept behind it is different, but please. That’s all it is. Another show about women complaining about all the things wrong with men, and relationships, and sex. Isn’t that what “The View” is for? I feel so used being a man. We just get trampled on by the opposite sex, no one understands us, no one believes us, we just open ourselves up to criticism at any chance they can get. It’s really disheartening if you ask me. These women think they can just rip our hearts out and stomp all over them whenever they want.
-Jayne is livid with Mary’s antics and confronts Byron on it. “You run out and destroy everything. How long were we supposed to wait for you? You were out there an hour with her.” Wow. This is Jayne? Little, innocent Jayne? Ms. “I’m-shy-but-I’ll-sit-here-and-wear-my-French-maid-outfit”. Oh wait, she’s hammered. No wonder she won’t shutup. This seems to be a new trend that’s developing, let me fill you in on this. Yeah, when women drink, they get emotional. It’s a new one, I know. Just started, like, right around the time that Adam and Eve got it on.
-Byron: “I’m thinking the slumber party was the right thing at the wrong time.” No, really? Eight women in lingerie drinking and lusting after one guy? I thought that would’ve worked to a charm. I mean granted, this is a serious television show, and god knows they’d never actually create a situation that would cause for drama and entertaining television. This is reality television. This stuff is all happening on the fly. It just so happened that Byron had a bad of lingerie to drop off to the ladies with bottles upon bottles of champagne. Hey, Target was having a sale. He was out shopping for some new hair gel, and by golly, all this stuff got thrown into a bag for him and he thought, “Wow! What a great idea for a date.”
-So after Mary’s kidnapping act has everyone pissed off, Byron leaves to go back to his room. Egg Timer follows him and she’s brought along two glasses of champagne. How considerate. I see her thinking. Byron never really got a chance to drink, I bet he’s extra thirsty, let me give him two drinks. What a great girl. And she showed up in her lingerie, her ass practically hanging out of her tight bottoms. She frankly just repulses me. Maybe I should’ve just called her the Blob for all these weeks. That’s what I think of when I see her in lingerie. Just one big ol’ giant blob. Anyway, before she’s about to go in, Jayne’s drunk ass swoops in and steals her action. She invites Byron out to the hot tub with the rest of the ladies, while Egg Bowl is left looking like a doofus holding two champagne glasses. Well, Jayne might be completely blacked out, but she’s pissing Eggnog off enough, which should make all of us happy.
-The next morning, Jayne’s having “drunker’s remorse”. Jayne: “Was I completely out of line for being so upset last night?” No, Jayne. You were perfect. You totally didn’t overreact and make a complete ass of yourself. Everyone else truly felt the way you did, you just had a little bit too much of the truth serum to hold back exactly what you were feeling. Don’t worry. No one’s mad at you and you’re certainly not an outcast to Byron or the rest of the girls in the house now. Byron: “I really like Jayne, I think she’s attractive, but I really have some question marks about her now.” Ok, maybe I was wrong.
-As Jayne is trying to justify her actions, Mystery girl, Oval Office, Cheresse, and Tanya enjoy making fun of her. They call her “G.I. Jane” because of the way she hides out then just snipes everybody without them knowing. Cool nickname. Didn’t Demi Moore make that movie? That was a good one. The last thing I need to see Demi Moore in is camouflage pants and with a shaved head. Who thought of that idea? As bad as “Striptease” was, I mean please, we all know what the whole point of the movie was, don’t we? To get as many guys as possible to come see Demi Moore, in her prime, playing a stripper. No other point to that movie other than that. None.
-Commercial. Christmas time is approaching and time to find out what the hottest toy for kids is gonna be. Apparently they’ve got a “Dancing Elmo” doll now. Bad enough they wanted little kids fondling Elmo a couple years back when he got big, now we not only get to see him dance, but also sing “E-L-M-O” to the “YMCA” song. Should kids that young become exposed at such an early age to a song that references where a cowboy, an Indian, a policeman, and construction worker like to “hang out with all the boys”? Doesn’t this make you rather ill?
-Rose Ceremony time. Holy s**t! We haven’t seen Host Chris all show! There he is! Hey Chris! Where ya’ been, buddy? Why am I trying to carry on a conversation with Host Chris through the TV then via computer? Why am I writing with exclamation points!? Ok, I’ll stop.
-Byron: “Ladies….you all look beautiful….looking for a soulmate….want to spend the rest of my life with….thanks again…..” Yeah, yeah pal. Get a move on. I’ve got postgame baseball interviews to get back to.
Mary: She belongs on “Survivor”. She’s outwitting everyone.
Tanya: He apparently must’ve really enjoyed cleaning her teeth with his tongue.
Andrea: She’s most definitely a couple sandwiches short of a picnic.
Mystery Girl: No solo dates, barely any alone time, she makes him Sangria, and that’s good enough to keep her around. Why the hard-on for this chick? This is bothering me.
Cheresse: We barely saw her this episode.
-Host Chris: “Ladies….final rose tonight….when you’re ready.” Wait! Hold on! You didn’t say “Byron” after “Ladies……” What if Byron’s not paying attention and just starts plucking roses from the garden so he can keep everyone? Chris, you gotta stay on top of this from now on. Quit slipping up. It goes like this: “Ladies….Douchebag….this is the final rose tonight….when you’re ready Byron.” He needs to get fired. We’re eight seasons in now, and he’s starting to get lazy.
Jayne: Wow. Apparently Byron didn’t care she went cuckoo last night the minute the first drop of alcohol hit her mouth.
-Host Chris: “Ladies, if you didn’t get a rose, I’m sorry. Say your goodbyes, gather your things, it’s time to leave the mansion.” Whoa. He’s Jeff Probst now? When does he snuff out their torch and tell them “Byron has spoken.” Host Chris really went tricky on us this week. You give the guy one week off and all the sudden he’s Mr. Game Show Host Guy with the catchy phrases.
-Elizabeth did not have a meltdown in her post-dumping interview. She took it like a good girl. And no, that was not meant to sound dirty. Even though it did.
-C’mon, did you honestly think the Egghead wouldn’t go down without a few choice words to make fun of? Didn’t think so. Eggplant: “I misjudged the situation. I was completely wrong. It sucks to think someone likes you when they really don’t.” Finally, something her royal Eggness and I agree on. I’ve been through it many times myself. It started back in 5th grade with Alyssa Milano, then on to Debbie Gibson, then Nicole Eggert, then Samantha Fox. Now, just within the last few years, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katie Holmes, Kristin Kreuk, and Lindsay Lohan….all of them, just teasing me and making me think they like me, only to get hurt when I found out they didn’t. It’s tough, I know.
-I didn’t see the previews for next week because I didn’t set my TiVo to record “1 minute longer” or “2 minutes longer”. I have no idea what’s coming up next week. But I guess I could just read the description on the TiVo. Or pick up a TV Guide. I’m sure that’ll ruin it for me by tomorrow. Even though I didn’t see highlights for next week, let me take a wild stab: “The ladies are beginning to develop strong feelings for Byron, and Byron’s falling for more than one woman.” Throw in a couple girls bad mouthing other girls, at least three of the six crying at some point, and maybe even throw in a “I don’t know what I’m gonna do” by Byron, and there you have it. I’m positive. Until next week…..
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