1.14.04
1.21.04
1.28.04
2.4.04
2.11.04
2.18.04
REUNION SHOW
SEASON FINALE
QUESTIONS?
COMMENTS?
EMAIL ME
BACHELORETTE 2 LINKS
SEASON FINALE
Remember when you were little and your parents told you not to touch the hot stove, yet you kept doing it, only to find yourself on the bad end of spanking after you did it? Well, that’s me. I deserve a spanking. The last two “Bachelors” I’ve gotten right. I picked Jen and I picked Estella. But for the life of me, I’m getting suckered in by this editing and I’ve taken the “editors” pick in the last two “Bachelorettes”, Charlie and Matt. Am I really this stupid? You know the saying, “Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me”, or something like that. I feel like an idiot. Hey, with 20 minutes left in the show, I was even more convinced she was picking Matt than I have been for the last 6 weeks. As Donald Trump would say, “You were duped, Steve.” Yes, I was. I basically had a slab of meat dangled in front of me and I went for it. And right when I was about to eat it, it turned into brussel sprouts. I’m Charlie Brown after Lucy pulls the football away. I’m the little kid who keeps putting his hand on the stove, and I’m not a happy camper right now. If there is any way I can get through on that phone line tomorrow night during the "After the Final Rose” crap, by God, I’ll do it. I need to give Meredith a piece of my mind. What a hypocrite. Anyway, onto last night’s show….
-So it starts off with recapping the last 6 weeks. We see clips of Chad’s sister hoping it was Meredith since she was as big a fan of the “Bachelor” as Rob Cesternino is to “Survivor”. Man, if that guy could go on “Survivor” every season, he’d do it. We also get one last view of Lanny’s mom banging her Bible on the dining room table, Ryan M. forgetting to take his medication, and Ryan R. spazzing out about having to go on two group dates, which actually turned out to be rather funny. “I get to go on two group dates….Doo-dee-daa-doo-dee-doo…This is bulls**t.” I’ll always remember you, Ryan R. Thanks for the memories.
-It’s 9:07, and they just finished recapping stuff. Wow. Seven minutes of already seen footage. Well, it’s either that, or showing their favorite clip of what’s upcoming tonight, “I don’t wanna choose!” Well toots, you’re gonna have to. Sorry. That’s kinda how the show works. The “I don’t wanna choose” quote with the tears streaming down the eyes, and the bright red cheeks, with the bloated face, was only shown about 27 times throughout the show. I don’t think that was enough.
-Commercial. Our earliest commercial ever. Apparently I’m out of touch with women’s contraceptives now. How long has this birth control patch been out? 99% effective? You’re kidding, right? So you’re telling me all the female has to do put a sticker somewhere on her body and it’s just as safe as me tying a balloon around my johnson? Where do I sign up? A patch can prevent you from getting pregnant? Does it put like all your eggs on steroids so before Mr. Sperm can make a move she kicks his ass and walks away? Not quite understanding this concept. Here’s the real kicker of the commercial. “The patch doesn’t prevent against HIV or sexually transmitted diseases.” Nawwww. You’re joking, right? So you’re telling me a patch on the back of her shoulder won’t stop me from passing on the herpes 3 I have growing on my lips? Thanks for clearing that up.
-First date is with Matt, the GFB. Matt’s last name by the way is “Hickl”. Yeah, I thought “Hickey” too at first. Nope. “Hickl”. Meredith: “Do you know who you’re meeting today?” God, I was so hoping Matt would say, “I have no clue Meredith. Please tell me. I came all the way up here to Portland. Please, please, please tell me I did so I could meet your 3rd grade art teacher.” That would’ve been my smart ass answer. Of course he knows who the hell he’s meeting today. Speaking of being a smart ass, remember back when you had to do icebreakers at camp, or freshman orientation? How come one of the games always ended up being the game where you had to describe yourself with a word that started with the same letter as your first name. Well, about the 7th time I had played this game in my life, I was sick of it. The first 6 times I used “Sarcastic Steve”. I was fed up by the 7th time, so I just went with “Smart ass Steve”.
-So they’re on a boat headed to her place, and all the compliments begin. Meredith: “It’s very hard to be open with my feelings. My heart’s been hurt so many times.” Is that including Guiney? Should it include Guiney? She must feel like a dope for ever even considering that guy boyfriend material. I’m almost willing to forget that season ever happened. Literally like two weeks after that season’s over, Bob’s already hating attending Trista and Ryan’s wedding with Estella, and he’s bangin’ that chick from “Days of Our Lives” or “As the World Turns”, whatever midday soap it is. Is “General Hospital” still around? Is Dr. Peter Burns still making appearances on that show? Who’s the couple that’s been together for like 50 years on that show? Luke & Laura? And which is the soap right now that has that serial killer running around lopping people’s heads off? That one looks good. Where was I?
-Meredith: “There’s nothing about Matthew I don’t love. He exceeds all my expectations.” Just reel us in, ABC. Throw the bait out there and watch simpletons like me buy it hook, line, and sinker. I mean, maybe I should’ve seen right through it. She almost complimented Matt TOO much. “He’s the perfect guy….I’ve been waiting for someone like him my whole life….I can see myself marrying him…. Blah blah blah”. It was almost too good to be true. I wonder if Matt’s more pissed than I am right now. I was really neutral on the guy, other than I thought he would win, until tonight. Now I’m pissed. Screw this show.
-Time to meet the Phillips family. And what a fine clan they are. The brother and his squished face seem to like the GFB. “My first impression is that he was a Glamor Boy. But he’s much more intelligent than I thought.” Translation: When I prejudged him, I thought he was stupid. No, the GFB ain’t a dumb one. Hickl-boy used to be the backup quarterback at UTEP. That’s the University of Texas El Paso for you non-necks out there. The only thing good about UTEP football is that less than ½ their games are at home every year. But now they have that strip club fiend Mike Price at the helm, so they might be a tad better.
-The GFB starts talking about his dating life. “I don’t really date casually.” Translation: I get straight to the sex when it comes to dating. Does he take every date back to his home and go on the swing? Does he lie to them about how many different colors he thinks their eyes are? I wonder how serious he’s been with his past girlfriends. He must go straight from, “Hey, I’m Matt. Nice to meet you” to “You can pick up your clothes off the floor and show yourself out” pretty damn quick.
-Meredith’s dad immediately starts in with the interrogation. “What’s the connection you have with my daughter?” GFB: “Look at her.” Nice answer. We are, Matt. Which is why we’re asking as well, “What’s the connection?” Of course, he went down the script of nice things….errrrr….his well thought out list of nice things he wanted to say. “Beautiful, intelligent, lights up a room, immediate chemistry, great in the sack, yada yada yada. Pops seemed to have no objections to Matt’s answers.
-Now it was Meredith’s turn. “Why the connection with Matt?” So Meredith dug deep down into the old bag of compliments and pulled out “I’ve never met anyone quite like him. He’s kind, he’s respectful, he treats me like gold….” Treats you like gold? Based on what? He hasn’t bought you a damn thing, he hasn’t had to pay for any meal, he hasn’t had to drive you anywhere, etc. Where is this coming from? Just wait til the cameras are off. You think ol’ Poem Tool has fired off one idiotic poem since that show ended? Neither do I.
-Meredith’s mom: “This is the first time I’ve seen her absolutely glow.” Actually, I disagree. What about when she brought the Guiney home for her hometown date? She was glowing then. Remember? She had the first one-on-one date with him? She was the front runner to win it all? Then at the hometown date, her chances went up in smoke when they hung out at the romantic graveyard all day? Ring a bell?
-It was at this time that my pizza arrived. I ordered Domino’s. So the next few minutes were a bit shady for me. I usually always order a pizza during the finale of any of these shows. Puts me in the mood. Kind of like a “Let’s-celebrate-the-conclusion-of-the-worst-season-they’ve-ever-had-on-the-Bachelor/ette” mood. And boy did I take my time eating this pizza and breadsticks. I wonder what pizza delivery boy thought of me ordering a pizza and breadsticks for myself during the finale of a chick dating show. I’m sure he was thrilled he had to drive in pouring rain to come see this at my apartment. I should’ve invited him in for a slice and some television viewing. Ok, maybe not.
-The next thing I remember seeing when I settled was Matt telling us “I can totally see Meredith and I going to grocery store, and me picking her up in my truck……” Of all the ways Matt sees himself with her, those are the first two things which came to mind? Hangin’ out at the grocery store and picking her up in your truck? Why does it not surprise me Matt is truck kind of guy? I’m picturing a beat-up blue pickup truck with the mudflaps that have the silhouette of the naked girl on them. Am I close? Can someone check this for me? And if they did hang out at the grocery store, what would happen when they got to the counter and looked over and saw the “Globe” reporting that “Bachelorette Star Caught Making Out with Gary Coleman!” How would he handle that?
-So as they lie in bed telling how much they care about each other, Meredith drops the bombshell on the GFB. Well, the GFB tells her how much he cares about her, and she just lies right back in his face based on her final decision. Anyway, Meredith drops the “I would be honored if I received a ring from you.” Ding! Ding! Ding! Matt is floored. He’s speechless. He almost picked up the phone to call Chris Harrison right there to tell him, “Game over, man. Can we do the Rose Ceremony now?” I mean, what kind of tease is this chick? Why would you possibly say that to a guy who you weren’t going to pick? And don’t tell me at that point she didn’t know. Of course she did. She had to have an idea on who she was leaning toward at this point. Bogus. I don’t buy this for a second. My pizza doesn’t taste good, the breadsticks are getting cold because I can’t eat and write at the same time, and this is where I start becoming real irritable. It’s like I’m menstruating.
-Commercial. Thank God. I need a break to chow down another three pieces. I know I mentioned this before, but how bad does “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” look? I mean, they didn’t even try to bring back any of the old characters. And who are these people in the new movie? It’s like making a “Jaws” sequel where like the damn shark is swimming around Sea World or something and it stars Dennis Quaid and Lou Gossett Jr. Oh wait, they did that. And in 3-D. No “Dirty Dancing” sequel works without Patrick Swayze in his tight black jeans and Jennifer Grey with her new nose. I wonder if you can pre-order “Havana Nights” at Blockbuster in two weeks for no extra charge.
-Time for Luke to meet the family. “Today is a big day.” Oh, you bet it is, big guy. You get to see Leia’s home planet and meet her dark side. You have a lot of impressing to do today young Skywalker. Words of wisdom: Don’t break out the lightsaber at any point in front of the family. Don’t start moving things across the room using the force. And leave C-3PO out of this altogether. I hated him anyway. If Jar Jar Binks and C-3PO were left out of every movie, I don’t think anyone would’ve been affected one way or another. And Hayden Christensen. Terrible actor. I’m supposed to believe that stiff is a young Darth Vader? Please.
-One early sign that maybe she picks the Beastmaster is all the kissing they do immediately when she sees him. These two love to kiss. Moreso than her and the GFB. These two kissing bandits are making Bob Guiney look like a virgin. Boy, they sure do kiss a lot. And boy, along with this bad pizza, this is not a good combination.
-Mark Hamil is nervous about meeting the parents. “I can see how your parents might be worried by me. I’m not stable, I have no career right now.” Wait, this guy’s unemployed too? What the hell kind of people are they picking for this show? Are they handing out applications to guys trying to sell me flowers when I get of the 405 freeway? Another jobless guy? Now wait a second, his job description on TV says, “Investment Banker”. Yet his profile on ABC says “Occupation: Equity Research Sales”. Who are these people trying to get over on? We should be pissed as the viewing public here that we’re being lied to. First Meredith is lying to the GFB leading him on, and now Ian’s jobless with no future. Only adding to my irritability right now.
-Beastmaster: “Do you feel like there’s more of a risk being involved with a guy like me?” Well, I’d say so now since you just sprung on us you’re unstable with no career. I guess that’s why during the reunion show they called him the “Wanderer”. Luke has got to make a decision on whether he really wants to continue on with Meredith or stay with Yoda and complete his training of doing handstands and moving boxes.
-The yound Jedi meets the family and Dad starts in with the immediate interrogation once again. “Why are you attracted to my daughter?” “When am I having grandchildren?” “What’s your connection all about?” “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” Ruthless. Pops doesn’t waste any time whatsoever. The brother gets in a few questions, and so does Mom. Hey, someone might want to keep an eye on that uncle over there. He’s about to keel over. Does he not speak? Is he against this whole process? Is he the black sheep in the family?
-Luke: “I quit my job. Everything I own is in storage.” I mean, here’s where it’s getting ridiculous. More and more, these two hometown dates are becoming quite similar to the ones that Charlie and Poem Guy had. Charlie’s was first, it went great, and the family loved him. Ryan’s was very subdued, not as much laughing, a lot more serious, some questions were raised about him, all just leading you down the wrong path. Of course, I followed it. There were “Danger!” signs all along the side of the road, and even a big yellow sign that said, “Wrong Way”. I drove right past them without a care in the world. Anybody who just tuned in tonight for the first time wouldn’t think for a second that Ian was the guy she was going to pick.
-But Meredith jumps in to defend her Jedi knight. “I could be in a shoebox and be fine with Ian. I’d be content to hang out and drink slurpees.” Where did that come from? Why am I having a hard time believing her when she says that? Shoeboxes and slurpees. That’s what their relationship has become. True love I tell ya’. Considering his job status, you might end up in shoebox honey.
-Dad: “How many kids, dammit?” Luke: “I would like three kids. I like having a full house.” And I hope that happens for you two. And you can move Uncle Jessie and the crazy guy who does the horrible impressions and stupid noises in as well. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m waiting for the day Bob Saget actually says something funny. Hey, you know Kirk Cameron’s sister who was on that show? She’s married to Pavel Bure the hockey player. She’s Candace Cameron-Bure. Just a little known fact I thought I’d share with you. And the two Olsen twins? They’re worth about 30 billion dollars each. And for the life of me, I’m still trying to figure out how.
-Meredith, Mom’s, and brother are in the kitchen handicapping the two remaining guys. Well, Matt’s the sitting duck getting played like a fiddle and Ian is Jeff Gordon in the driver’s seat with about a 50 lap lead heading down the final stretch. Meredith: “I told you they were different. Matt’s a great guy, but Ian and I just have this unspoken relationship.” Translation: I can’t think of one solid reason to pick Ian over Matt but I’m going to come up with this “unspoken relationship” B.S. that you can’t question me on since I have no answer for and that’ll be my explanation for picking Ian.
-Commercial. Just what I needed to see at this point in the show. Tyra Banks in a “Victoria Secret” commercial promoting a new bra coming out March 2nd. What’s new about this thing? Didn’t even have a name to it. Just, “New Bra. March 2nd.” Spend $80 bucks getting one. You know, I’m not much into pricing on women’s clothing, especially undergarments, but for the life of me, I can’t possibly ever fathom a bra costing $80. Do you get a portable DVD along with it? 80 bucks for a bra? In one of the few times I ever did that sort of shopping for my significant other, I remember I got about four thongs for $20 at Frederick’s of Hollywood. They looked good to me. So I snooped around checking out any bra’s that might go with it. 40 bucks. 55 bucks. 100 bucks. What???!!!! What am I missing here? I guess I’ll never understand. Because as I mentioned last week, I don’t have breasts.
-Ring shopping for Meredith. Another pasttime I don’t know a damn thing about. Gay jeweler guy showed her a cushion cut, and a 3 ½ carat. Ok. I know carats are the big things. More carats you have, the happier you are, and the more years it takes us to pay it off. I got that part. But Meredith didn’t spend too much time in there since Harry Winston pulled their name from the show. I think they were in “Mike’s Jewelry Shop”.
-Time for one final date with each contestant, and time for Meredith to lead Matt on some more into thinking it was him. Hey, I don’t think she did it maliciously, and maybe I should be blaming the editing people at ABC, but damn, they really overwhelmed us with footage that she was totally into Matt. The Beastmaster gets the first date, and they’re going to make pizzas. Ugh. The last thing I need to see on television after eating that crap I just ate. Yet another date who can’t cook, Ian ends up burning the pizza. “That’s typical of us. That’s our relationship right there.” What is? A burnt pizza? Is that a bad joke I don’t get, or is Ian being serious? So after six weeks, we’ve come to the conclusion that Ian and Meredith are like crust. Outstanding. Thanks for wasting my time.
-More anti-Ian footage. “I have no worries right now. I have zero responsibilities. Being in a relationship is a big responsibility.” Why would they show us this if they knew it was going to be Luke after all? It’s only showing he has doubts. It’s only showing that maybe he’s not ready. It’s only showing that Meredith might use that against him. I don't know if I’m just bitter because I was duped for the 2nd “Bachelorette” in a row or what. But man, I really feel bad for the Hickl. Poor guy.
-Meredith: “Matt is so secure and loving. But I like adventure. I like spur-of-the-moment. I like spontaneity.” Translation: I’ll have sex anywhere, including public places. At least that’s how I viewed that statement. Others may differ.
-Luke’s walls are beginning to come down. “I’m a lot softer than I thought I’d be around you.” Hey now, big fella. No need to go there. Sounds like a problem only you and your doctor should be discussing. I wonder if Meredith took any offense to that. Probably not. Probably went right over her head like him not having a job, him having everything in storage, and Matt being the guy she should’ve picked.
-Ian: “Where you stand with him (Matt)?” Meredith: “I don’t know.” Uh, buddy. If she told you that now, don’t you think that would ruin it for the rest of us? Can’t you wait another 48 hours before she unveils her true love for you? Hell, you guys haven’t been able to see each other since the show ended taping in December. You think those two went at it like schoolchildren last night after finally getting to see each other again? What’s the over/under on how many times…..forget it.
-It’s the sacrificial lamb’s turn to get his final alone time with Meredith. Not that it’ll matter since Luke already promised her the trip to Cloud City plus possibly a threesome with an Ewok. But Hickl being the proud man that he is, still joins her one last time. And boy did Meredith’s dress to nine’s tonight. Yep. She’s got the e-collar on. That’s the name of the cone you put around your dog when you don’t want him scratching his face. Stands for “Elizabethan” collar. Maverick has one. Maverick’s my nephew. Dog nephew. And Goose is my dog niece. Yes, my sister is one of those who once wanted to enroll in “Top Gun” as well.
-In what had to be a “Bachelorette” first, Meredith took Hickl into the deliberation room. That was cool. He got see where she made all her bad decisions, including the final one. You know, I’m glad Matt got to see the room where she decided Ryan M. deserved to last 3 rounds in this game. And the room where she decided she HAD to give Lanny a 7th rose. And the room where she ultimately decided to dump your ass in favor of unemployed boy. Gotta hurt. However, I did find it humorous when he took Ian’s picture and placed it face down. I stood up and started clapping at this point.
-They fed each other chocolate covered strawberries. I stuck my whole fist down my mouth.
-Hickl: “Is there anything you need from me tonight?” Translation: Are you going to grab it yourself, or should I just take it out for you?
-As we head to commercial, the 27th and final time of the night, we see “I don’t wanna choose!” Good. Then don’t. End the show right now. No one wins. Everyone goes home, and ABC gets sued for not producing a winner. Gee, so she goes from “I don’t wanna choose!” to “Ian is my soulmate”. Big liar this chick is.
-Now it’s the boys turn to visit Gay Jeweler Guy. Great. More talk about stuff that’ll only have me more confused. He shows Matt an oval ring with baguettes on the side. Mmmmm….baguettes. Starting get hungry again. He also shows him a “princess cut”. Completely over my head. All I know is that if he actually had to pay for it on his own, Matt would’ve hurled all over Gay Jeweler Guy’s suit.
-Ian’s turn. The GJG showing Ian rings was priceless. It was like he was teaching him calculus. I don’t think Ian even knew what he doing in there to begin with considering two episodes ago, he PROMISED his brother he wouldn’t propose her. PROMISED. Remember? Gee, how convenient? Well, we’ll just let you pick out a ring, Ian. You know, just in case you decide to propose after PROMISING the person your closest to most in this world that you wouldn’t. But here’s a $10 G ring to slip on her hand just in case you get that urge. I’m disgusted at this point.
-Ahhhh yes. Time for the annual “guys-getting-ready” scene. Here comes the GFB out of the shower with only a towel on, dripping wet. Ladies, feel free to salivate over your television sets right now. Here he is shaving his face. Completely unnecessary. And finally, here he is….hey, wait a minute. Hey Matt, “Are you gellin’?”
-As for Luke, he might be one of the few men over the age of 15 who still uses and electric razor. Ladies, if your man uses an electric razor, break up with him. Never a good sign. He might as well ride a tricycle to work then too. Who uses electric razor to shave their whole face anymore? Well, apparently Ian does. Outstanding. Twenty-nine years of age, and he’s just beginning to hit puberty.
-Getting closer to that final moment and Meredith drops the bombshell. “I want this to end in a proposal. I’m ready to get married.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ya’ big hypocrite. First off, you say it doesn’t matter to you if you get a ring or not because “love is more important. What’s better than love?” Remember that? Then Luke told you that he would not propose to you because he feels like that’s moving too quickly. And since then, he’s given you no other indication to make you think his stance has changed on that. Then you tell big Hickl that you would be honored if he presented you with a ring. So explain to me how someone who now says she wants a ring would even take a chance on a guy who told her straight to her face he wouldn’t propose? Which is why I hate this show and will never write about it again. Until next season.
-Final deliberation room. I’m glad Meredith got her hair done so nicely for her possible engagement. The way I look at it, she hopped in the shower, washed her hair, came out of the shower, didn’t dry it, parted it in the middle, pulled it back, added a fake bun, and went on over to the mansion. Probably took a good five minutes. Tops.
-Commercial. Tell me they didn’t show NY Giants quarterback Jessie Palmer dropping back to pass, pretending he was going to throw a football, but really throwing 25 roses. Please tell me I didn’t just see that. I cannot wait until the “Bachelor” starts in April. I am gonna absolutely bury this guy. And I’m just some no-name behind a computer in California. How about this guy’s teammates? Football is the macho sport of all macho sports. He’s gonna get crucified in that locker room for spending his offseason handing out roses. What’s a pro football player doing anyway going on a TV show looking for some tail? Especially the backup quarterback to the Giants. I feel bad for you Jessie. First you never win a big game at Florida, then you get Jim Fassel fired this last season by quarterbacking the team’s last 5 losses, and now this. Good luck. You’ll need it.
-Time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Matt’s up first. Unlike Trista, Meredith is a woman of very few words. And when she immediately started in with all the compliments, you knew there was a “but” coming. And there was. After she said “but”, she fake cried, gathered herself and said, “but I feel more strongly with someone else and that’s it. I’ve been sick….absolutely sick about this….” So am I. Regurgitating garlic breadsticks is not something I expected to do tonight. But it’s happening.
-Meredith: “Can I walk you out?” I guess Matt cared about her too much to say “no”, but man was I hoping he would. He took it well though. A hell of a lot better than I would’ve. Especially if she led me on like that. I would’ve been dropping f-bombs, cursing myself all the way back to the limo, etc. I mean, we’re talking a meltdown even bigger than Ryan R.’s. I know he’s hurt, and I know he cares for her, but enough of the kissing between these two. She didn’t pick you. She wants a kiss? Bulls**t. Kiss your new boyfriend. Don’t kiss me. Yes, I’m bitter right now. Why do I feel like she just dumped me?
-Matt in the limo: “This is insane….This is crazy….My heart is with someone who doesn’t want me….Am I a fool?….To do what I’ve done and to be what I’ve been?” Matt, you’re a good guy, and I hate to break it to you any other way, but, you got hosed. All the built up anger inside, all the venom, all the hatred, just let it go. Go back home to your swing and just swing like you’ve never swung before. Go high, go fast, go slow, but just go home and get as far away from these two love puppies as possible.
-Chris’ turn to greet Ian as he gets out of the limo. Wouldn’t it be great if he just ruined it right there? “Dude, she already dumped Matt. You’re in.” Guys look out for each other. Chris not breaking the news to Ian, although probably going against game show rules, really would’ve solidified him as a member of the male species. Now I’m not so sure.
-Meredith’s not much of a talker once again and basically told him within the first three sentences that he was the guy she wanted to grow old and have children with. Yippppeeeee!!!!! It’s over. Can we go now? Oh yeah, surprise surprise, he ended up proposing. I think . He put the ring on her finger, but he did it while he was standing and all he said was, “Will you?” And she blurted out, “Yes!!!! Yes!!!!!”. So I guess that was his half-ass proposal that my roommate got all teary eyed over. They exchanged pleasantries, said goodbye to the cameras, and immediately headed up to the room for some late night bumping. Ballgame. Thanks for coming. Drive home safely.
-Well, that just about wraps it up for yet another season of the “Bachelorette”. I will not be writing about the “After the Final Rose” tonight. I’ll definitely watch and maybe give a few thoughts in the “Reality Roundup” section next week, but no full column. I’m glad we got to launch the site this season, and I hope to add a few new wrinkles by the time our next “Bachelor” begins in April.
-As for the next show I’ll be writing about, after viewing all your emails, and figuring which one I think I could do the best, I’ve decided that starting next week, I’ll be covering “Survivor: All Stars”. And here’s the main reason why I chose “Survivor” over the “Apprentice”. The “Apprentice”, outside of Trump’s hair, is a pretty serious show. Even though the characters are a little weird, the bottom line is they’re still vying for a $100K a year job to run one of Donald Trump’s companies. There really isn’t much comedy involved in the show, and I’d rather do something lighthearted and funny, than something more serious that has an edge to it. Plus, the board room at the end is the best part of the show, but it’s so fast and edited, it seems rather difficult to do. Bottom line is I just feel I can write a better column on “Survivor” than “Apprentice”. I know a lot of you requested “Apprentice” and I apologize. If they weren’t on the same night in back-to-back hours, I might’ve done both. So check in Friday mornings beginning NEXT week for your updated “Survivor” column along with “Reality Roundup”. For those of you who don’t give a damn about “Survivor”, I’ll see you all in April for the debut of “Bachelor 5”. Take care…..
Return to the realitysteve.com home page