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REALITY ROUNDUP
WEEK OF 11.22.04


Thoughts on the last two weeks of reality television. This will include “Apprentice”, “Survivor”, “Real World”, and “My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Boss’.

-Last night might have been my favorite episode of all time. The coup that Twila, Scout and Eliza staged was done perfectally. And I don’t think anyone is upset that the man hater, Amy, now is in big trouble. Awesome. The only coup that might have been better was when Pascal and Neleh got away from the solid foursome in “Marquesas”. Another unexpected turn. Nothing like the power players having absolutely no idea what’s going on behind their back. I don’t know who was happier, me, or Sarge and Chad who were giggling once Leann went down.

-You realize what this means? Looks like Chris is going to win it. I mean, if any female gets to the finals, they already don’t have three votes from Julie, Leann, and Amy because they lied to them. Twila? You kidding me? She swore on her son she wouldn’t lie, then did. Good for her. Scout? Please. She’s the one that initially started the whole coup. Eliza? She was the swing vote so they definitely hate her ass. If it’s a Chris, Twila, Scout, and Eliza final four, I don’t see how Chris doesn’t win. Even though it took Twila telling him to go tell Eliza to join their alliance, he’s still the most deserving player out there.

-I could not have been happier now that Amy looks to be on the way out. I don’t know if there’s been anyone who looked that good that’s been more hated in the history of this show. She did it to herself by being a stuck up, obnoxious lesbian who spewed hatred toward the male race at any chance she can get. And it says under her name on the show she’s a “coffee barista”. What’s that? Why didn’t she just put “porn star”?

-The emotional visits from family was quite interesting. Amy’s girlfriend looked like she could’ve kicked that whole island’s ass with her bare hands. Holy smokes. Someone might want to check that woman’s gender before allowing her to play herself off as a woman. Apparently Amy likes the butch look in her women.

-If I were Chris’ fiancée, I’d be scared for my life. I mean, could he have yelled at her anymore? I thought she was going to cry. Oh wait, she did.

-Glad to see Leann took the challenge so non-chalantly then got the boot. Good one. Was she telling jokes to her friend during the challenge? And I find it funny at the end of the show that Leann was completely baffled who voted against her? Hmmmm…let’s see. You got four votes and Amy and Julie were your only solid alliance. Who the hell do you think voted against you?

-What did we learn from the blindfold/puzzle Immunity challenge? Well, apparently lesbians are good at puzzles. At least, that’s what I got out of it.

-As for “Apprentice”, going back to last week real quick, that produced the funniest moment of the season. The cab ride with both Maria and Wes. It was like a disgruntled married couple coming home from therapy. Neither was happy, neither wanted to be there, and it almost look like they put a wall in between the two. Why didn’t Wes try to get some?

-And Maria saying, “I am not a control freak” was very funny considering that’s exactly what she is. And her blinking problem is rather annoying. At first I just thought it was a nervous twitch. Uh, no. That’s a full blown problem. It’s actually really uncomfortable looking at her when she does that. It’s like she’s got something constantly in her eye because it’s very fast and very, well, annoying.

-Jen really does seem to skate by every week. Maybe she’s a lot smarter than we all think and she’s using her sexuality to the best of her abilities. Watching her undercut Ivana’s idea in front of Trump and having the Levi people believe was actually quite comical. Another great moment from this season.

-I was disappointed in Andy’s boardroom ability last night. He let Sandy completely tear him apart, and he’s a debate champion. I wanted him to stick around longer. Even though he couldn’t lead, and I think got his driver’s license last week, he was still entertaining and had a personality. But how many times did he say, “you’re right” when Sandy was handing him his lunch. Even Trump said he was going to eliminate Sandy but she was so much better defending herself.

-That Pepsi Edge idea was brutal. A globe? I wouldn’t be caught dead holding a drink like that. How embarrassing. And I love how during the commercial break we saw the promo’s for the new Pepsi Edge and they didn’t even use Mosaic’s idea. Or was it Apex? Whoever it was, doesn’t matter. Apparently it wasn’t good enough. It was just better than the globe. That globe drink really was embarrassing.

-And in case you didn’t notice, Andy wore a blue shirt in the board room, had a white shirt on as he was walking out to the cab, then had his blue shirt back on as he was talking in the cab. Surprised editors couldn’t pick up on that.

-So Jen and Sandy use their sexuality to sell chocolate next week? Shocker. And the last thing I need to see on this show is Ivana dropping trou in the middle of New York City. Look lady, we don’t need to see that at all. Keep your pants on.

-As for the “Real World”, I just wanted to point out that Landon couldn’t look any more like Willie Ames if he tried. Wow they’re similar.

-In the beginning of the season, Sarah proclaimed that she was going to be the next Trishelle, yet the only piece of ass she’s gotten has been from a gay guy and she dumped him the next morning. Hey Sarah, Trishelle got in Steven’s pants on the first night and was banging away every night thereafter. You got a lot of catching up to do.

-Funny how MJ has one one-night stand (that they show), and all the sudden that’s not for him and he wants his girlfriend back. How much you wanna bet those two aren’t together anymore? And I’m SURE that was the only girl that MJ brought home during the whole taping. I’m POSITIVE it was.

-Speaking of bringing chicks home, exactly what was that thing that Landon was hopping on in the tub? Gross. Please, have some standards why don’t you? Talk about beer goggles. Holy smokes, he must’ve drank a whole bottle of rubbing alcohol that night.

-If you haven’t been watching “My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Boss”, you should. Hilarious. I can’t even begin to do justice about how stupid some of these contestants are. I mean, on the “Joe Schmo Show”, they were very good at pushing the envelope, but never going over it. This show, they don’t care. The boss is a raging pervert and makes no bones about hiding it, his sidekick couldn’t be any more gay if he tried, and these tasks are ridiculous. Yet all these contestants are clueless. Hilarious.




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