RETURN TO THE REALITYROUNDUP INDEX	REALITY ROUNDUP WEEK OF 2.2.04 More thoughts during the past week of reality television….. -Other than the fact that I find none of the girls attractive, nor remotely healthy looking, I found another reason why I don't like "America's Next Top Model". Their names. Take a look at some of these hungry women's names: Camille, Jenascia, Shandi, Catie, Mercedes, Xiomara, Bethany, and Yoanna. What? Last time I came across names like that, I was handing out $1 bills through my teeth. -And someone please tell Tyra Banks to quit being so hot. It's really bothering me. -"My Big, Fat, Pig of a Fiance" has turned into a really, really, really funny show. Fat Boy is a great actor. Don't think this performance isn't going to land him some gigs, if not his own sitcom. I don't know what was funnier: His fake dad taking off his suit and going naked in the hot tub, or his fake mom feeling up his fake fiance? "Do you have big nipples?" "Are you planning to have a vaginal birth?" "We breast fed Steve until he was five." Classic. -And for the life of me, I still have not come to a decision on whether or not Randi Coy is hot. Sometimes I think she looks real attractive with her ridiculously white teeth and tight body, and sometimes I feel she's trailer trash. How can someone reach those two extremes? Shouldn't you either be good looking or not? I literally can't decide if she's an 8, or if 10 years from now she'll be 50 pounds heavier, living somewhere like Fontana, California, with naked children that run around all day in the dirt front yard. And oh yeah, she'd have a crystal meth addiction. -And considering how straight-laced Randi's dad is, I can't ever imagine him thinking that Fat Steve would be right for his daughter. No matter how much she tells him she's in love with him. That family can't possibly believe for a second this is someone their daughter chose on a reality show. Can they? I think they'll protest the wedding, Randi won't get her million, but they'll still give her some money for trying. These shows rarely every let you walk away with nada. -I think Richard Hatch is playing the game completely wrong. What’s he doing? Knowing he’s got a target on his back, why would he continue to get naked and act like a pompous ass? Wouldn’t he want to NOT piss people off? -Judging by the way the first voting went, I think it’s safe to assume no matter what Richard, Ethan, and Jenna do, they cannot win this game for a 2nd time. -Boston Rob and Amber might be the first couple to actually do it while out there on the island. -Exactly what was the point of having the security chopper escort onto the island? Weren’t they just there a few months ago when they filmed “Pearl Islands”? Didn’t quite get the overdramatization there. -Amber is hotter now than she was. So is Alicia. I think Tina took some of her winnings and stretched her face back a little bit. Jenna and Heidi’s “Playboy” spread is somewhere in my room, and considering it’s about 1:45am right now…..I’m kidding. Way too late. -Will Colby just voluntarily leave the island now that his lover got booted off first? Probably the dumbest mistake ever made in this game. I understood his reasoning, but it didn’t mean it was right. Colby beats Keith 7-0 if he takes him to the finals. Lilian’s boner to take Sandra instead of John was the 2nd worst mistake. 3rd worst? Three words: Naked Richard Hatch. -How in the world is Johnny Fairplay not invited to All-Stars? If their whole idea was to bring back the most memorable contestants, how could you not bring back the biggest schmuck to ever play the game? -Through my roommate spilling the beans, I know a few of the people who made it to the Final 32 of “American Idol”. The Frank Sinatra kid with the bright red hair made it? All his songs sound the same. -Very shocking to see that girl who chewed out Simon is no longer around. He usually takes real well to people that insult him to his face. I’m speechless. -Scooter girl is gone? C’mon. Not her. I wanted to see what outfit she’d come up with next. And if she was going to do the splits again with a skirt on. -Did the guy who liked to feel himself up make it? What an absolute moron that guy is. Couldn’t write his own song, couldn’t remember words to a song he had all night to learn, and he’s out chasing skirt in the swimming pool. -So Mike, Coral, and Trishelle are all on the “Inferno”? God help us. Coral’s breasts are getting bigger by the season. I think Mike is noticing. Especially since he kicked Trishelle to the curb. The Miz is still a dork, but thank God he got rid of that Southern trash. Has she made out with Vanilla yet? -Think of every actor and actress you can that is on television right now. Of all the great ones you can think of, just realize that none of them currently are on two different shows in the same week, yet Trishelle is. What’s wrong with this picture? -Frankie has a boyfriend? I thought she was bi? She will be by the end of the season. Guaranteed. -There were two classic lines from this past week. #1- “What’s 10% of 8 grand?” #2- (Brad to Randy in his first call out of jail) “Dude, Randy, let’s party”. -You know what was hilarious? These roommates spending more time making up “Free Brad and Robin” signs to pin on their shirts than actually figuring out a way to get them out of jail. -Robin the Rack might have the worst cry of all time. What is that? I keep thinking she’s faking it. -Randy riding 45 minutes in a cab one way to pick up some lush who just got out of jail says one thing to me about him: He’s p***y whipped already. Dude, you could get it from her anytime you wanted. She loves him. I think they’ll end up married someday. Uh huh. -Frankie has problems controlling her liquor. I don’t necessarily agree. I think Frankie has problems the morning after drinking her liquor when she calls her boyfriend to tell him she drank too much, blacked out, and doesn’t remember what she did, even though she didn’t do anything but slobber all over Randy’s neck. -Frankie and her boyfriend have broken up over trust issues. WHAT!!?? Someone who went on the “Real World” broke up with their significant other back home? That never happens. -Great conversation between hottie Camran and Frankie: Camran: “Would you leave him if he cheated on you?” Frankie: “No.” That makes sense. This show makes sense. Even Brad makes sense every once in a while if he’s sober. No wait. I take that back. Brad never makes sense, definitely wins for “Fewest IQ points for any Real World Cast Member”, and it infuriates me to no end that Camran and him make out later this season. I won’t forgive her for that. -Will Jacqueseseseseseseses play peacemaker all season? Will this guy ever go out and do something daring? Or is he destined to be the Matt from “New Orleans” of this cast? -We don’t really know much about Jayme yet other than the fact she doesn’t like being Asian. I do know this: She never knows what’s going on. “What happened?” “No way!” “What’s going on?” The over/under on her uttering one of those phrases in any given show is about 15. -After being relegated to numerous shots up her skirt in the cab ride home, Robin the Rack tells us she has unresolved anger, she doesn’t know where it comes from, but she’d really like to find out. And let me guess. She finds out this season on the “Real World: San Diego.” Is this gonna be like a Valerie Malone revelation where she realizes she’s such a bitch because she killed her father years ago and has been hiding it this whole time? Return to the realitysteve.com home page
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