RETURN TO THE REALITYROUNDUP INDEX	REALITY ROUNDUP WEEK OF 3.8.04 Random thoughts over the last couple weeks of Reality Television (Last nights “Real World: San Diego” not included)…. -It’s been a couple weeks so let’s start immediately with the “After the Final Rose” special the “Bachelorette” put on. Meredith and Ian were googley-eyed over each other, and Matt had his heart ripped from his chest, thrown on the ground, and stomped on. How uncomfortable was his “alone time” with Meredith? Matt, she dumped you TWO MONTHS AGO!!!! You need to get over it. If the guy wanted some questions answered that I’m sure he was confused about. I have no problem with that. But the somber tone, and constant badgering of Meredith, I felt like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. -For Meredith to even sit there and listen to his nonsense, well, she did the right thing. She gave him a bunch of nonsense back. His questions were outdated, and her answers were bogus. So basically, that final “confrontation” got us no closer to an answer than we were before they spoke. Outstanding. Let’s hope someone is on GFB suicide watch right now. I just can’t get over how distraught he still was two months after the fact. I’m sure Ian had a blast sitting back knowing he’s already had Meredith every which way Matt wishes he had her. Should Ian really have been praised for letting Matt get some answers from Meredith? Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t that the proper thing to do? Then again, I doubt Ian even had a say. I’m guessing he didn’t say, “Nah. He doesn’t get to ask her anything. We’re just gonna talk about us for an hour.” Not quite. -Ok, to set the record straight, here’s what happened as far as me getting on and asking my question during the show, the somewhat short version. I called about fifteen minutes before the show aired live on the east coast, told them I wanted to ask why Meredith would even broach the subject of marriage with Matt if she was still undecided, and they told me someone was already asking that but said, “You sound like you really know what you’re talking about. We’re gonna put you on hold and have you ask a different question.” They then read me my rights, or laws, or some lame ass legal mumbo jumbo I didn’t pay any attention to. Just get me on the air, dammit. At this point, I figured two things: 1) I knew they had planted questions on these shows, and 2) What the hell? As long as I’m on the air, who cares what lame ass question they give me. So five minutes go by, a producer comes on the line and says, “Steve, we want you to ask Ian, ‘What was it like watching Meredith kiss other guys?” Unbelievable. The one question that’s probably been asked of any contestant more than any other question, and I get stuck with it. Whatever. I’ll ask it. But I won’t be happy. So they put me back on hold, they tell me I could be on hold the whole show because they don’t know when they’re taking questions. Cool. I’m all right with that. I’m not doing anything else anyway. Then about 2 minutes before the show goes live, the producer comes back on and says, “Steve, we’re sorry, we can’t let you on the air because you’re not watching it live on the east coast.” I said, “Then change it to Steve from New York. I don’t care. I just want to ask the question. I’m such a big fan of these two (in my best begging and pleading and whining voice)”. Didn’t work. They said it had to be someone who was watching it live on their TV. Motherf*****s. -As for the “Average Joe 2” finale, all I can say is: WHAT???? Our boy Gil obviously has some deep rooted insecurity issues if he can’t deal with Larissa once dating that ugly bohunk Fabio. I mean, Fabio? Who gives a rat’s ass? And I’m guessing his insecurities started at a very early age, probably kindergarten, on the first day when the rest of his class made fun of that name. “Gil”. If you’re a “Gil”, you’re gonna get made fun of, bottom line. Sucks to be him. -And after all that, after showing us zero personality for 6 weeks, after admitting to Larissa he only did the show to be an actor, and after having the charm and presence of a wet sponge, Larissa still picked this punk ass, and he dumped her because Fabio once got in her pants. Explain the logic behind this. Gil’s explanation on TV: “I just want every guy in America to put himself in my shoes, and you know exactly how I feel the way I do.” Ok. I’m in your shoes, Gilly. And…..? I’m not quite comprehending what’s so bad about this. So she dated some C-list actor. She picked YOU, you baffoon. You’re a complete and utter embarrassment to the male race. -Did you see “People” magazine from this past week? They had an update on these two and apparently it’s not “officially” over, even though they don’t see each other that much, he has no plans to move out of Florida, and he’s still hung up on the Fabio thing. Uhhhh…the magazine can say what they want. Steve here says, “It’s over.” And that’s all that should matter. When asked about the Fabio thing again, Gil-tard responded, “Everyone has an impression of him being such a cheeseball. I can’t believe she would date someone like him. Yes, I still have an issue with it.” Hey Gil, you’re only allowed to keep your vagina until the age of 30 before you have to return it. Make the most of it, pal. The magazine also went on to say that Larissa and Fabio were never even that serious, only that they had dated a few times. Boy, Gil’s looking better and better by the minute. -As for Brian Worth not getting picked, not very shocking to say the least. I hate repeating myself, but I will in this situation: Hot looking, 25 year old, former 4th place finishers in Miss USA contests don’t date geeks. It’s not shallow, it’s fact. It’s the world we live in people, and if you even thought for a second she’d choose him over the better looking guy, you were duped like Katrina from the “Apprentice”. The only time hot young women date older, ugly, or fat men is if that guy has money. And lots of it. All the rounds she’d have to make on the talk shows, all the magazine photo shoots she’d have to do, do you honestly think she wanted a very average looking guy on her arm? Not a chance. Plus, Brian Worth shouldn’t even be disappointed anyway. If she would’ve picked him to be nice, they never would’ve lasted. As for him now, I guarantee he could pick and choose any tail in the Boston area he wanted. Chicks will probably throw themselves at him after his performance. Do you realize how much pity sex he can get out of this? I envy Brian more than Gildork. -This “Forever Eden” show has me really intrigued. My biggest question is: What the hell is going on in that show? Is it a game show? Is it a soap opera? Does it have a finish? Will it end sometime this decade? How many different people will ultimately be a part of this show? 100? 150? Why are they burning their identities when they get to the island? Why do they have another foreign chick hosting one of these shows? So many questions, so few answers. -Just last night, Neveen, Brooke, and Michael were separated from the group, Michael thought he was eliminating one of them, then he was told he wasn’t, the three other girls would choose who left, they vote for Neveen, yet Killaiilllahilllhaalllll left a video message saying she didn’t want Daveen to leave, so she voted herself out, leaving Neveen with all her money on an island where four other chicks want her gone. HUH???? Excuse me while I stop my head from spinning around in circles. And this type of sh** goes on every segment of every week. Put it this way: Whoever you think is leaving, never is. And whoever you think is going to be the one choosing who’s leaving, never does. Got it? Good. I’ll never not watch this show. And one of the guy’s teeth could literally gnaw through a tree trunk. -“Apprentice” is getting real good. The guys get eliminated in the first four boardrooms. Now, we’ve had females eliminated in the last five boardrooms. You think people are happy that Omarosa is gone? Gee, I can’t see why they would be. Such a happy-go-lucky woman she was. Always lightening up the group, never talking over people, and was very, very racially unbiased. I applaud her professionalism throughout the whole show and she’ll definitely be missed. You can hit the laugh track now. -What an absolute beyotch that woman was, and I’m glad the Donald sent her ass home. Good Lord. A weeklong concussion from plastic falling on her head? Constant migraines? She can cry “editing” all she wants, I guarantee those contestants in the game all hated her act off camera just as much as they say they do on camera. Good riddance. Her and Trucker Sue ought to get together and go bowling. -If I had to pick someone now, I’ll go with Bill. Nick is smart, confident, and pretty savvy, but something tells me the fact that he loves himself so much will end up hurting him in the end. As for Troy, he’s probably one of the smarter businessmen in the whole group, but I honestly can’t see the Donald picking someone from Idaho to run one of his companies. And none of the ladies remaining really strike me as someone I see him entrusting one of his companies with. All smart, all fairly good looking, but no one really stands out. Amy’s probably the smartest of the bunch, but even she has a bullseye on her back. I expect it to come down to Nick and Bill. If it’s a male/female final two, I’d say Bill and Amy. Sorry. Got no spoilers on this show. I mean, I’ve heard rumors here and there, but nothing I’d run with. Yet. -As for our weekly “Real World: San Diego” trip, last week did absolutely to disappoint. I’m so excited to see where last night the gloves came off and Cameran started ripping Brad’s girlfriend with the big rack. That was fun. -After her fiasco with Randy, Juggs Robin immediately tells us when the show starts off that she’s not looking to date anymore. Fast forward about 10 minutes into the show: She’s hooking up with a Marine. Outside of being Jon Bon Jovi for a day, or any guy that can sing for that matter, the one person I’d want to come back as in another life would be a Marine. Marines seem to get all the chicks, and to this day, I couldn’t give you a damn good reason why. -Maybe it’s the whole, “Hey-I’m-only-in-town-for-one-night-so-you’ll-never-have-to-see-or-tell-anyone-about-me-ever” thing going on, but it’s something about them that chicks immediately drop their panties for. I guess women all go through their phases of wanting the bad boy. I guess I can understand that to a certain extent. But Marines? I just don’t get it, and probably never will. You women don’t understand the strip club thing with guys, and we don’t understand the whole Marine thing. -What? Did I hear this correctly? Frankie used to work in a porno shop? That’s impossible. She seems so normal and down-to-earth. Finding out Frankie worked in a porno shop was equivalent to understanding that if you stand in the shower and turn the water on, you’re going to get wet. -So she actually had to scan one of those 6 foot vibrators they sell? How does it work in the porno shop? Do they really scan it and up on the screen it says, “Giant Ridiculous Vibrator You Couldn’t Fit in an Elephant - $99.99”? Very curious. Never been there. Ok, I have. Once. Or twice. But it was for a gag gift. For a friend. Of a friend. -Cameran thinks guys are intimidated by her. Based on what, little one? You’re 19 years old and have experienced basically nothing since you’ve come out of the womb. Exactly what are guys intimidated by? -Cameran: “What’s a swinger?….He’s talking to me because he thinks I’m naïve.” An unbelievable quote that’ll go down as one of the best of the season. Yes Cameran, that’s what guys at clubs do. They talk to the drunk girls who they think are naïve. It’s all part of a master plan. But since they’re intimadated by you, they couldn’t possibly be thinking of trying to get you in the sack. No way. -Cameran’s dress, or whatever you want to call it, when she went out with the porno guys was unbelievably short and slutty. In fact, I think Jamie pointed it out best when she said, “Your coochie’s showing.” Couldn’t have said it better myself, Jamie. Thank you. For God’s sakes Cameran, do you honestly think that wearing something like that will keep guys AWAY from you? Might as well just walk around with a mattress strapped to your back. -During the limo ride, Cameran realized what kind of guys she was hanging with: Perverts. There was some sexual intercourse going on in the back of the limo. Once again, another shocker. Cameran flipped out. She pretended like she was grossed out by it, when in all reality, it only made her want that toilet Brad even more. God that guy bugs. -Quote of the night…Cameran: “I’d rather just have fun with my vibrator”. (Gulp). Please, MTV. Please. Just for a split second. Return to the realitysteve.com home page
©2004 realitysteve.com. All opinions expressed on realitysteve.com are those of its writers only.