RETURN TO THE REALITYROUNDUP INDEX	REALITY ROUNDUP WEEK OF 4.26.04 Thoughts on the last week of Reality Television..... -Man, Boston Rob really has made zero friends on this show. Things aren't looking good for him. I mean, in one sense, he's dominating the game, and in control to place himself into the finals. Yet on the other hand, everyone he's backstabbing won't vote for him on cold day in hell. So it's kind of making the show anticlimatic. If Rob gets to the finals, we already know he won't win. In fact, he might not get more than one vote. But like I said last week, he wins if Amber gets to the finals with him. -Don't you just love that mental toughness, the intestinal fortitude, and the will of Shi Ann to pull off that Immunity Challenge last week? Nice going, Shi. And rubbing it in on everyone else sure made them like you even more. Look, we all know Shi Ann has zero chance to win this thing and she probably knew that as well, but why act like an ass by winning ONE Immunity? If anything, wouldn't you just try and kiss as much ass as possible to try and sway some votes? Apparently not. Sticking around three more days was more important to She-Devil. Great nickname. How clever. -Pretty funny that all the contestants voted Alicia as the person they thought didn't deserve to be on the show. I would've guessed Shi Ann. Hey, why is Shi Ann on the show anyway? I mean, outside of the huge boner Colby pulled taking Tina to the finals, was there a bigger blunder than Shi Ann running to the other tribe and spilling dirt on her tribe before she realized there wasn't a merge? Didn't think so. -Ambaaaahhh and Wobbie did more kissing this week in case you missed it. Not make out, tongue-on-tongue, full groping kissing, but enough cuddling and pecking to make me vomit a couple times. Are they gonna both be back for the All-Stars in the final installment? God let's hope not. Imagine if they are? The videos from home would consist of those two seeing their kid on screen? Plus, having a married couple on the show would violate all show rules, wouldn't it? Check that. I want them both back. ESPECIALLY if they're married. That could really get interesting. -There wasn't a more disppointing show in television history than this past Sunday's "E! True Hollywood Story: The Bachelor". There wasn't one thing on that show that I hadn't already heard or read about before. Major, major disappointment. This week they're doing the "Laci Peterson Story" and I'm sure they'll have hidden cameras showing Scott offing his wife. But the "Bachelor"? No way. We get a recap of what the show is about, updated interviews with people we don't care about anymore, and old interviews with the people we do care about. -The only people they had updated interviews of were Alex and his three finalists, Aaron and his two finalists, Trista & Ryan (shocker they'd agree to talk for this show. What's it been like, a month since Trista's grill has appeared on our television?), and about 10 seconds with Meredith & Ian. Hey, I didn't even watch the first two Bachelors, so I could've cared less what those seven people had to say. -No dirt on Andrew & Jen's breakup. No dirt on Bob cheating on Estella at Trista & Ryan's wedding. Although they did mention they broke up the day after, which can lead anyone to conclude he boinked one of the bridesmaids or someone there. And no Matthew Hickly trying to corner Meredith again for some answers regarding his dumping. Booooooooooo. I love "E! True Hollywood Story", but ever since they did the episode on "Saved by the Bell", things seemed to have gone downhill since. Yes, Screech is now doing stand-up comedy. He didn't say anything funny for the 900 years he was on the show, yet now is doing stand-up. Makes sense. -I looked forward all week to that show and basically cried myself to sleep when it was over. I mean, none of Alex or Aaron's chicks even laid into them about being idiots either. Too much nice nice going on. I wanted one of the girls to say, "I honestly thought Alex was gay", or, "Aaron's caveman-like facial features scared the bejesus out of me". Nope. None of that. And one final question to summarize the whole show: How in the world did Alex choose Amanda over Trista? -After watching the season finale of "High School Reunion", you could only say one thing to yourself. "Mike Fleiss has done it again." Fleiss of course being the producer of both "The Bachelor" and "High School Reunion" makes you think one particular thing then throws the giant curveball at you. Of the three couples they were promoting which one would come away engaged, how many actually truly thought it would be Gabe and Denise, the couple with the most problems? No one, that's how many. But if you went super slo-mo on the tv, you could tell the hand that was giving the ring was a darker skin, which between Gabe, Johnny, and Trevor was obviously Gabe. So that gave it away. Yes, I rewound five times to make sure I was right. -What was really shocking was to see the very first shot of Amanda and Trevor when the show began, and their faces were stuck together. Have those two said more than one sentence at a time to each other? I'm talking outside of being underneath the covers completely naked. Why do I have a feeling this "love" their talking about for each other isn't real? Call me crazy. Love? You've known him twelve days! Why do so many young lovebirds confuse "lust" with "love"? I just don't understand it. Especially these two rocket scientists. If these two stood side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder, and you looked through Amanda's left ear, you'd be able to see right out Trevor's right ear. -I think one of the more shocking parts of the show was Tre the Player getting no run whatsoever. Outside of skinny dipping with the sophomore hookers, what did this guy do? He was supposedly the player and got no love for two weeks. I'm sure he wasn't too pleased with not getting his freak on for a whole two weeks. -Lennydork really needs to stop telling us Heather ho' bag is "the most beautiful girl here?" No, she's not. And the more times you say it (which I think is up to about 327 in the last three weeks), the more times I can't feel sorry for you anymore. Stop it. Please. She ain't letting you get in her pants at the prom. Give it up. -Why was everyone cheering when they voted the gay guy as Prom Queen? And why was he happy about this? And why haven't gay rights groups come out in protest over this B.S.? The gay guy gets annointed "Prom Queen"? Ha ha, hee hee, ho ho. Wow. That's hilarious. Poor guy. Hey, if he thinks being accepted by his former classmates includes him being named "Prom Queen", good for him. I would've thrown that crown on the ground. -Did you notice when Lennydork was announced Prom King, he wasn't even sitting next to his date Heather ho'? Gee, I wonder why? Probably had nothing to do with the fact she avoided him like the plague from the minute he asked her. Lennydork is a good guy, and I guarantee he'll find a chick back home once they watch the show, just like every guy who ever appears on any reality show does. So he shouldn't even be mad at the ho' for not giving him a little sex that night. Then again, if he jumped in bed with her, I don't think he would've known what to do. -Tell me that wasn't Tag Team performing "Whoomp! There it is!" at the prom. Please tell me that didn't happen. Well, considering I graduated high school in 1993 as well, I knew the music quite well back then and I'm guessing they could've found someone else to appear. Couldn't Mellowman Ace have shown up and performed "Mentirosa" for us? Why couldn't PM Dawn shown up and belted out a few ballads from "Set Adrift on a Memory Bliss?" That song was the sh**. Loved that song. Still have it. Somewhere. On some "Hip Hop from the Early 90's" CD. -Was there a reason by the end of the night, Trevor had on a wife beater tank top to go with his tuxedo pants? Couldn't Amanda not wait until they got back to the freakin' cabanas to rip his clothes off? Good Lord. Get a room, people. -I'm really looking forward to this reunion special though. Most pressing question: Why is Louann's ex-boyfriend bothering making an appearance on this show. He has bigger balls than I, I can tell you that. If I were him, and they asked me to do the show? Uhhhh....no thanks. I've already been embarrassed once. No need for that again. Are you kidding me? What good can possibly come out of him appearing. That'll be the highlight of the season. -Missed “The Swan” again this week, but I did see the commercial. “This is the one ‘Swan’ you don’t want to miss!” How would this one be any different? -John Stevens got booted off “Idol”. My question: What the hell took so long? I said back when the final twelve started that the first two to be booted should’ve been John Stevens and Jon Peter Lewis. His last three performances were literally straight out of a performance you could’ve seen at a high school play. And putting him in those group performances where he has to sing AND dance is flat out torture. Super nice kid, but had no business lasting that long. -You know one of the funnier parts of “American Idol”? Having the loser sing the song from the night before. “Hey, you just got booted last night, but before you head on out, how about singing us that memorable song which America liked you least in?” Seems kinda backwards to me. Shouldn’t they choose their own song? Obviously the previous nights performance didn’t blow too many people away. Why make em’ sing it again? -Will a celebrity judge EVER criticize one of the singers? Of course not. The contestants are singing one of their songs. They would never say, “Damn. You butchered that thing, honey. What a disgrace.” Just doesn’t happen that way. But it would be damn funny. Paula doesn’t criticize a damn thing, and her “You gave it your best” to John Stevens is about as harsh as you’ll get. “Gave it your best” means “By far the worst performance of the night.” -And Elton John now calls the show “incredibly racist” since the final three last week were the three remaining black singers. Ummmm, Elton. Quick reminder. Reuben Studdard won the whole thing last year. Big, fat black guy over a skinny, heartthrob white guy that every 12 year old fantasized about. Where’s the racism? Take off those wacky glasses ten sizes too large and maybe you’d be able to tell it’s a popularity contest. That’s the only way to explain Jon Peter Lewis and John Stevens lasting as long as they did. Return to the realitysteve.com home page
©2004 realitysteve.com. All opinions expressed on realitysteve.com are those of its writers only.