RETURN TO THE REALITYROUNDUP INDEX
QUESTIONS?
COMMENTS?
EMAIL ME
REALITY TV LINKS
WEEK OF 5.24.04
Thoughts on "After the Final Rose", the "American Idol", "Swan", and "Inferno" finales, "The One That Got Away", and the "Real World".......
-Was it just me or did Jesse and Jesse look like two distant cousins sitting with each other during the "After the Final Rose" show. Then you pick up "US Weekly" and see them with a headline, "Already in Trouble?" and you realize all is not well in Jesseland. Funny thing is, when you read the article, there's nothing in there that really suggests these two are in trouble. So basically the "US Weekly" editors and the ABC producers got together and decided to fool everyone in America once again. Now granted, these two won't be together by the time next season's "Bachelor" rolls around, but c'mon, they're not broken up yet. Are they?
-Speaking of the ABC producers, how about that job they pulled once again last week with the editing. They never cease to amaze me. During the introduction for the show they have host Chris telling Tara, "You had sex with Jesse, he dumps you, and now you're upset". I had a lunatic co-worker call me during that commercial break freaking out that they actually would bring up Tara having sex with him. But of course, in true ABC fashion, when they actually get to that point in the show, Host Chris actually says, "America's under the impression....You had sex with Jesse, he dumps you, and now you're upset". Gee, kinda changes the whole sentence around doesn't it? Like they care. They had people like my co-worker glued to their TV set for the rest of the show.
-Trish is officially an idiot. I really don't understand exactly where her arguments come from, where they are going, or if there's a point to them. Other than that, she came off real well during the show. This whole "I am who I am. I don't say things behind people's backs. This is me" B.S. doesn't make too much sense to me. Especially when all the trash she talked about Tara was when she was one-on-one with the cameras. And hey, Tara was just equally as guilty of it herself, but she made it known to Trish's face on more than one occasion she didn't like her. Trish just kept running to that camera and running to Jesse. And oh yeah, I don't know why it took me until this show to realize it, but Tara is smoking hot. And when Trish's eyes start bugging out of her head like a frog, I find myself wanting to poke my eyes out with a pair of scissors.
-Gee, I'm sure glad they brought Jen Scheft on the show. That really cleared things up for me. Haven't her and Andrew been broken up for like 10 months now? What was the point of that? Unless you've either been living under a rock, or not reading this website, everyone knew these two still weren't together. And I tend to think most people knew she wasn't with Bill from the "Apprentice" anymore either. How do you think the ABC producers felt when she basically said her and Bill never dated, but just went out a few times? They were making it seem like these two were on the verge of getting married. Woops.
-And maybe I was the only one who caught this, or maybe I'm wrong, but when they went to commercial break before bringing in Jen, didn't they show her talking about and showing a wedding ring? Then during the interview we never saw any of that. Right? I could've sworn I saw her blabbering about a ring and how pretty it was, then they never showed us any of that. Hmmm....interesting. I really think if they do have another "Bachelorette" show, Jen's appearance last week was just a mini re-introduction to America for her so people wouldn't forget about her. She fits the mold as the next "Bachelorette" because she's likable, she's hot, everyone's familiar with her, and she doesn't want to date a reality dork anymore. She just wants to be with a regular guy. Like me.
-Nice little shot she got in on Firestone and Rancic when she said their relationship became more of "promoting wine and tires and cigars and hotels" than it did about them. Nice one. Never would've thought Firestone would've put his fame and fortune ahead of his woman. He seemed so ready and so willing to get married. I think ABC is now forced to go back to just going after some regular Joe Schmo for the next "Bachelor". C'mon guys, the famous-horny-athlete types just aren't gonna cut it anymore. Firestone wasn't ready to settle down. Guiney wanted to promote his album and hit on other chicks (more on him in a minute), and Palmer has about as much interest in waking up next to the same woman every morning as any NBA player does.
-As for Guiney, in case you haven't heard, he's now engaged to the chick from "All My Children" and who hosts the "Bachelor Marathon" on ABC Family Channel, Rebecca Budig. Bob continues to swear that this relationship started AFTER he and Estella had ended things. Uh huh. If anyone believes that, I have some beautiful land to sell you off the coast of Mexico. Hell, the guy ended things with Estella via a note and you expect us to believe he wasn't boinking Rebecca before that? C'mon. Ask anyone at Ryan and Trista's wedding if this guy's behavior was that of a man ready to settle down with Estella. Not quite. And here's the funniest thing about Bob and Rebecca's engagement: He's back to being fat Bob again! All the weight he lost for the show, and all the fitness he put himself through to bounce back from that horrible divorce and knee injury he kept blaming his fatness on? All gone. He's back to being portly Bob again and Rebecca doesn't seem to care. Have a nice life you two. Poor Estella.
-So what was the best part of the "American Idol" 2 hour finale? Fantasia winning? Not really. Seeing Kelly and Reuben come back to sing with the two finalists? Nope. Watching Fantasia break her shoe? Not even close. By far, the best moment of the finale, and maybe the best moment they've ever had in the first three seasons - Jennifer Love Hewitt being a co-host in the pre-show concert outside. Whatever genius thought of that idea needs an award for that. Bravo. Bravo. Encore. Encore. I mean, is there anyone else in America more qualified to introduce LaToya, George, and Jasmine to America than America's sweetheart, J-Love? Didn't think so. That made my night. I didn't care who won at that point. My only question is, did they have to call her and actually ask her to do that, or was she already there in the crowd? Just asking. And for those who ever questioned whether J-Love's are real or not, look no further than that show for your answer.
-I know "American Idol" is a huge hit, and I know it was one of the more anticipated finales of the season, but was the red carpet treatment really necessary? And did you see some of the stars who came to see the show? Ray Romano? Am I really supposed to believe Ray Romano is a fan of this show? Jon Voigt? Huh? That was bizarre. And I don't think you could've possibly found a worse red carpet interviewer than that chick from "American Idol" Season 1. She was horrible. I don't even remember her name she was so bad.
-We've had three "American Idol" finales, and we're now three-for-three on Simon wearing a shirt with the top 9 buttons unbuttoned. It's like the guy can't wait for the finale to come so he can reveal his chest to America. That 5'7", chain-smoking Euro sure had all the ladies in a tizzy, didn't he? What a sexy beast he is. Yes, he's a chain smoker. And yes, he's a midget. A midget who like to show the seven hairs on his chest. Good for him. See in you 8 months Simon.
-For a song that was only written two weeks ago by Tamyra Gray, "I Believe" was sang about 157 times in two days. Both Diana and Fantasia sang it on Tuesday night, then they both sang it again on Wednesday night, then after Fantasia won, she sang it AGAIN. Ok, so 5 times. Sure seemed like 157. And I don't know how she made it through the song after winning the whole thing. I thought she was going to pass out. No wonder she'd skip verses at a time. Wasn't because she was crying. It was because she was about to keel over and die. Singing a song while you're crying hysterically isn't something I'd want to be remembered by.
-So is John Stevens going to take dance lessons before he partakes on this 52 city tour? The guy has the rhythm equivalent to Steve Martin in "The Jerk". Brutal. Just throw him in the back of the line on all dance routines. Being a backup for Britney he is not. Ok. Let's face it. He sucks. He couldn't dance his way out of a paper sack. Just whatever you do, don't let John Peter Dork Boy teach him his moves. They might hurt each other.
-How funny was the "Swan" finale? I just found it ironic that the winner, Rachel, had a husband who basically had been putting her down and was put off by her looks. Then she turns into a hottie, and there he is, standing front-and-center, hootin' and hollerin' for his woman. Front runner. Nice to know that he's not very shallow and they have a solid foundation of a relationship to build on. I hope she dumps his ass for someone less redneck-ish as him.
-I know they explained the rules of this whole process, and they showed us how none of these women were able to look at themselves in the mirror EVER. I find that hard to believe. They covered up anything and everything that is shiny in the household so they couldn't see their reflection. But for THREE MONTHS they never got one peep at themselves? Not even walking by a car in the parking lot and taking a glance at themselves? C'mon. No way. Seems a little too hard to believe. Inside their own home, I can understand. Outside the home, no way. Too many objects that have a reflection.
-So has "Road Rules" kicked the "Real World's" ass like 12 years in a row now? This isn't even exciting anymore. So what does "Real World" do? They keep inviting the same people back. Now next season they'll add little naive Cameran and maybe Brad and Randy. Good luck with that. Make it a clean sweep for "Road Rules" and I don't even know who's playing for them.
-What cheesy title is next season's challenge going to be called? I can't wait. I'm losing sleep over this. "Gauntlet", "Inferno", what's next? "Dungeons and Dragons"? "Tic-Tac-Toe"? "Connect Four"? Where do they come up with these names? Can't we just call it "Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Season X"? But I guess if people can't distinguish between the seasons without some cheesy catchy name, oh well. Gotta keep them as happy as you can.
-Did you see this "The One That Got Away" last night? Holy smokes. Where do I start? The fact this show was one episode long told you all you needed to know. Embarrassing. I might've gotten really into this show if it was more than 120 minutes long. How can you take a week's worth of hooking up, dumping, backtabbing, cheating and lying, and possibly give it to us in 2 hours? What B.S.
-And did somebody just get bored with all the reality dating shows in L.A.? Why the hell was this filmed in the South? Hey, I've got nothing against the South, and I'm a sucker for Southern accents, BUT.....not on my dating shows. Sorry. And is there a reason this show stole the soundtrack from "Who Wants to Marry My Dad"? Same exact slow music. Aren't there copyright laws to obey?
-And the whole title of "The One That Got Away" is a little misleading isn't it? Maybe they are the ones that got away from him, but how are all seven women claiming HE is the one that away from THEM? Kinda hard to believe. And if it's "The ONE That Got Away", why are there seven girls? Shouldn't he just be throwing himself at one chick who he thinks he screwed up with? And she has two hours to decide if his B.S. to get her back was believable or not? That seems more logical. Then again, logic and reality dating shows usually are never used in the same sentence, so I guess it all makes sense now.
-Skip? His name is Skip? Skippy? Our little Skipper? Where was his “little buddy”? Why wasn’t he wearing a blue polo shirt with a sailor’s cap? Why did he bring his newphew on the show to help with his decision when the Professor and Ginger were readily available? Very disappointing. Good god. I mean, I know he's from the South, but couldn't they have found a more manly name than something named after a peanut butter? And how did Denise from "High School Reunion" sneak onto this show and start calling herself "Grace"? Isn't Gabe gonna be a little upset about this? I thought they were gonna try and work things out.
-Quote of the Night (after Skippy's nephew comes to visit): Grace: "I'm not good with kids. Kids just scare me." Great answer to give when his 9 year old nephew is sitting right with you at the table. So Denise/Grace hates kids, and Erin hates his job of being a bartender. Gee, two great broads to choose from. And can someone please step in with the bug spray? I was swatting away the gnats and I was sitting in front of a television. The Deep South: Hot, humid, sticky, and gnats. Not a good combo.
-I missed about the first 45 minutes, but I caught the last hour, so I only really saw the three girls he narrowed it down to. However, the one girl who made a lasting impression on me was Amy. No, not because I thought she was the prettiest and he made a bad decision by letting her go, but because she had the most God awful highlights I've ever seen in a woman's hair. Her friends let her leave the house looking like that? Lord. I never thought I could ever stoop this shallow and admit something like this, but I'd discontinue seeing someone if they had highlights like that. Damn. That was harsh. Pardon me while I go wash off. I feel dirty.
-Funny that all these chicks talked about his past and his skeletons. So he's a total player, yet HE is the one that got away from them? Uh huh. Very, very believable. He's a bartender for Christ sakes. Why not just have the guy be an NFL quarterback? Or even a guy who family runs a winery? Or maybe just some guy looking to promote a crappy album?
-Grace and Skippy. Skippy and Grace. So why did he choose the ugliest one? And where is their trip too? And if I'm not mistaken, of all the ex's, wasn't she the one he most recently dated? How much fun is that? He just dumped her and they have an admitted love/hate relationship. Yeah, these two are lasting. I think I really, really, really would've had a field day with this show if it was more than 2 hours long. Damn them. Oh well. We got "For Love or Money" starting next week. That I'm very excited for. Especially this tard and his bowtie. Who still wears bowtie's that isn't named Don King or Louis Farahkan. I probably spelled that wrong, but who cares. Those are the only two guys I can think of.
-One word to describe last week’s “Real World”: Wow. Why does Frankie’s stepdad look like he could be her boyfriend. And I guess the apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree in that family, huh? Could her little sister possibly have any worse of a role model than that psychopath? For Christ sakes, she’s even got her wearing those same ridiculous librarian glasses already, and she’s 10 years younger than her! Someone help out the little sis’ right now before she becomes a cutting, deranged, schitzo with more baggage than a 747 en route to London.
-Jamie actually speaks! Crazy. Wasn’t having her mom come visit one of the more bizarre/uncomfortable/downright scary things you’d ever seen? It reminded me of European Vacation where the Griswold’s showed up at the wrong people’s house for dinner and spent the night. The whole time she was talking to her mom I was asking myself, “Is this really her mom? She sure doesn’t know a damn thing about her.” Jamie didn’t even know how old her dad was. Huh?
-Usually when family members or friends come and visit, they give a little more camera time to them. Not for Jamie. I think even the producers were thinking, “Damn, we might’ve flown the wrong woman in. She doesn’t know anything about her daughter.” That whole mother/daughter scene freaked me out.
-Frankie: “I’ve been trying to get happy forever.” Then watch the “Partridge Family” reruns. C’mon….get happy!!!! Frankie is an emotional basket case only to be rivaled by Ally Sheedy’s character in the “Breakfast Club”. You know your life is spinning out of control when Halloween of all days is making you sad. So thank god she leaves this week and goes home. Let’s hope they replace her with some hottie without the cuts, black makeup, emotional problems, and tattoos. Please. For our sake.
Return to the realitysteve.com home page