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WEEK OF 8.2.04
Thoughts on the last week of reality television which includes "Last Comic Standing", "Amish in the City", "Who Wants to Mount Marty?" Finale, "Trading Spouses: Meet your New Mommy", and one of my new favorties, the "Ashlee Simpson Show".
-That was a great catfight that started out the "Who Wants To Put Marty's Hairplugs In?" finale. Suzanne, Ms. Innocent for the last 5 weeks, just attacking Stacy for being a phony. And the fact that it was in the bathroom while the family was waiting downstairs was even better. Why couldn't it have been like after they had gotten out of the shower or something? Then maybe wet hair would be flying around and towels would be getting ripped off. Would've added to the moment. Nonetheless, a good catfight between two older jealous woman fighting over Mr. Plastic Face.
-Did you notice that when Suzanne came downstairs to give her final plea to the girls on why she should be the next woman to bear Marty's fourth daughter, she had on a clear bra. I've never seen that before. Either you wear the strapless bra, or you wear none at all, right? Who wears clear bras, besides strippers and prostitutes? That baffled me. At first, I didn't even realize she had a bra on. I just thought it was the indentation from the last bra. Nope. Clear bra. Bizarro.
-Here's one way I think they ruined the finale. They showed the girls asking Marty who he wanted them to pick and he said Stacy. Well, I don't know about you, but if I was in the daughter's shoes, and my father specifically told me he'd like me to pick Stacy to be his wife, don't you kinda gotta go with it? I mean, if he tells them he wants an SUV and not a sportscar, they can talk him out of it. If he tells them he'd rather have pizza that night instead of hamburgers, they could probably convince him to go the other way on that too. But when he tells them he specifically wants this woman to be his next wife, regardless of if it's their choice or not, let's be honest, it pretty much is up to him. Could you imagine after telling the girls he wanted Stacy, they came back with, "Ok, we listened to what you had to say, but sorry. You're marrying Suzanne." Doesn't really work that way, does it? Why force him to marry someone he doesn't want to? I just don't think they should've shown him telling the daughters who he picked. Too late now.
-When Suzanne showed up at the house at the very end, was that supposed to be tricking us into thinking that they were going to pick her? Well, it didn’t. They did that last season when they told the first former Miss USA chick all her good qualities, then sent her packing. I think they were trying to make us believe the girls had chosen her. And when she first arrived did you hear Marty ask, “Is that Suzanne?” The translation of that was, “Are you f***in kidding me? You went against my wishes and picked her?” But when heard the “We did not choose you” line, she almost had a complete meltdown.
-Did you hear her tell Marty “You know I’ll be waiting for you”. Gee, that’s good to know. Nice to see she’s taking it well and is ready to get on with her life. Geez, don’t wait around too long, Suzanne. You might actually find someone whose faced isn’t caked on 24 hours a day. And do you really want Stacy’s sloppy seconds considering how much you hate her?
-The girls explanation for not picking Suzanne? “My dad was not in love with her.” My whole point exactly. So why would we even think for a second they’d pick him to be with Suzanne? “Here dad, we want you to be with the woman you have less of a connection with, one you’re not in love with, and one that you told us not to choose. Have a great life, pops.” Made no sense.
-I think the cream rose to the top last night in “Last Comic Standing” which is definitely one of the better reality shows out there. Maybe it’s because I’m just a huge fan of stand up, but I could watch 10 seasons of that and not get bored. I think the three people that should advance are a no-brainer: John Heffron, Gary Gulman, and Alonzo Bodden. Basically the three people I had pegged to advance going in, and they certainly didn’t disappoint.
-Did any of you try to get through on the phone lines? I did. I voted once for each of the guys. And I tried to vote a 4th time, but it said my phone had fulfilled my allotment of votes. Wow. I thought they were just B.S.’ing with that. “American Idol” should try that next season so certain cities don’t jam up the phone lines and keep acts like John Stevens and Jon Peter Lewis around longer than they should. And each person I voted for actually had their voice saying thank you for voting, except Gary. A woman’s recorded voice came on and said, “Thank you for voting for Gary Gulman. Goodbye.” Well, goodbye to you too.
-I can’t distinguish who had the better act between the three. All very funny, all very original, and all different styles. I’m very partial to John Heffron because I think he’s the funniest of the three, but I won’t discount Gary or Alonzo’s set last night. Tough one to call. I’m going to make my determination next week when all three of them are in the finals. And if one of them isn’t, Tammy Pescatelli’s mafia family probably took over the phone lines. Jay and Kathleen definitely didn’t make the finals, but something tells me Tammy’s old, tired act might find her way into the final three. Over who? I have no idea. But something tells me they want some female representation in the finals. I know it’s voted on by America, but these are the same phone lines that kept Jasmine Trias around and dumped Latoya London. We’ll see.
-“Trading Spouses” is becoming a little too much like “The Simple Life”. One of the moms is from a rich family and one is from a dirt poor one. Last night’s rich mom basically went through everything that Mrs. Nakamura did prior. Discouraged the other overweight family from eating fatty foods, did nothing around the house, and basically was oblivious to a lifestyle that wasn’t surrounded by material things. This show’s going to lose its luster quickly, although the ratings would suggest otherwise. This is a Top 20 show now. Wow.
-And you can tell they get very creative on the editing on this show, because they only show the negative things that happen. It wouldn’t be funny otherwise. Mrs. Nakamura appeared on a radio show recently and was talking about how they made it seem like she didn’t do anything for the Biggins family, when in reality, she was always doing things for them, they just chose not to show it. Well, that’s what you get when you sign up for reality television, so quit complaining. Some people never learn.
-“Newlyweds” has pretty much worn out its welcome with me. Although it’s still funny, it’s basically Jessica acting more stupid than she actually is because she knows the cameras are on her. Which is why I’ve turned my attention to the younger sister, Ashlee, and her show. Now that I can watch. Something about her is more appealing than Jessica. Hmmmm….can’t put my finger on it. Maybe that she’s still a teenager. That seems to be the age range I’m after nowadays. Kidding.
-I think I watched six episodes in a row on Sunday. I lost track, but I sat there and was completely entertained for a good 2-3 hours. Is this normal? Should I be interested in what a teenie bopper is doing with her music career? Is there therapy for this? I feel like I’m still going through puberty watching this show, yet feel completely satisfied when it’s over, and find myself pissed off there aren’t any more episodes after this week. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life.
-If you haven’t seen “Amish in the City”, you might want to check it out. You talk about your collection of misfits, that’s your show. And I’m not even talking about the Amish people. If they cut the Amish kids from the show, it’d still be entertaining with people like Kevan (pronounced KAY-vaughn, and looks exactly like Kenny from 90210, the married guy Valerie had an affair and faked a pregnancy with because he wouldn’t leave his wife), Ariel the vegetarian and one of the more annoying people you’ll ever meet, the token gay guy, the token black girl, and token fraternity dude. Just make this the cast of the next “Real World” and lets get on with it.
-Throw in the Amish group and you’ve got yourself one hell of a show. The concept being Amish kids are put in a house with, well, normal people, and they are introduced to things they’ve never seen before. Like a beach. And a parking meter. And a pool. Complicated things. Anyway, the Amish have some characters of their own, most notably Mose (short for Moses). This guy is your typical “never-seen-a-damn-thing-outside-of-my-own-backyard” guy who’s in awe of everything around him. And he talks very monotonous in a thick Minnesotan accent. Great television, I tell ya.
-And basically the premise of the show is to depict the Amish as the most underprivileged, sheltered, most homely group of kids you’ll ever see so that the regular civilians can make fun of them. Great television, I tell ya. And oh yeah, two of the Amish kids they through on there used to be boyfriend/girlfriend. I forgot the girls name already, and the guy for that matter, but just watch the show to hear this guy talk. And to see how jacked up his teeth are. I’m telling you, this show should be on one of the major networks in prime time. Good stuff.
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