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WEEK OF 9.20.04
A lot to cover with the recent season premieres of "Apprentice", and "Survivor". Plus thoughts on "Last Comic Standing 3", the "Amish and the City" Finale, the "Benefactor", and this seasons "Real World" cast.
-I'm intrigued by this cast of "Apprentices." Granted, Stacie J. and Raj come across as Omarosa and Sam ripoffs respectively, but this cast seems much more qualified to be competing than last season. The Donald has really outdone himself. I love how he's added him arriving in limo's cancelling important meetings to the show. As if he didn't have the time to cancel them before the little red light was blinking. Hilarious.
-Although the Donald appears for about a 1/4 of the show, and it mainly focuses around the contestants, make no mistake, this show works because of him. It's hilarious how every company he's ever dealt with is the greatest company in the world, and everything he's ever touched has turned to gold. Except for that little golf course out in Palos Verdes, Ca. which people are furious over. "You'll get the best service, eat the best caviar, and drink the best champagne on your reward dinner tonight." Thanks for that Donald. Never would've guessed.
-The NBC hype machine basically ruined last week's boardroom. For a whole week we heard about "The boardroom everyone will be talking about!" Well, if he eliminated any of the other three people, Ivana, Jen, or Stacie J., it wouldn't have been that big of deal. But eliminating the guy who gave up his own exemption, now that's definitely worth talking about. Bozo the Bradford really didn't get it. Given every chance to take back his exemption, after being told he was stupid, dork boy decides to still put his neck on the line. And even in the cab ride, he still says he thought he was doing the right. Uhhhh, no pal. If it was the right decision, you wouldn't be in a cab ride home after the Donald admitted that you were the most qualified person in there.
-And I know the winning team had this brilliant idea to mush doughnuts together and combine them with ice cream, but am I the only one who found that completely disgusting? Hey, I love doughnuts. Maple bar and two chocolate rainbow sprinkles are my Sunday morning start. And I love ice cream. Gimmie a cup of chocolate chip cookie dough with M&M's from Coldstone and I'm like a kid in a candy store. I just don't want them put together. I'm shocked people liked that. Then again, the women's idea of whatever gelatin they concocted wasn't the most creative thing I'd ever seen either.
-It's pretty early to predict who will last long in the show because we barely know them, and I haven't read any spoiler sights yet, but I have a feeling that that chick with the short, boy hair cut will last a while. Seems smart, she's attractive, and she knows when to speak up and when to shut up. As for the guys, I have no clue. I'm still trying to figure out their names.
-I guess one game to begin playing will be "Who'll be the first male/female tandem to do it on top of Trump Towers?" Once again, I have no idea on this since I'm still trying to get their names straight. But I'll be sure to list the favorites as soon as things begin to get hot and heavy. Be sure of that.
-As much as I love "Last Comic Standing", starting Season 3 two weeks after Season 2 ended, was a huge mistake. And you wonder why Season 2 has won $50,000 every week. What'd you expect? They're fresh in everyone's minds, not to mention that overall it was a much better season. John Heffron, Alonzo Bodden, Gary Gulman, and Todd Glass completely obliterate anything Season 1 has to offer. All you have to do is watch Season 3. Dat Phan and Ralphie May, Season 1's final two, are continuously repeating the same jokes they had ONE YEAR AGO. The Season 2 comics have new material after not appearing for two weeks!
-I think John Heffron has showed why he's such a good comedian. He can talk about stuff that most of us can relate to. A lot of jokes from childhood, about kids, etc. As opposed to Tess, who's main theme in every single set is how sexy she is. That's funny? Especially considering how UN-sexy she is, makes it even worse. How can anyone think she's funny? She laughs at her own jokes, and her sets all revolve around her plumpness. Yeah, hilarious lady. Sit down and be quiet.
-I'm still baffled by how many of these comedians are repeating their jokes. Even some Season 2 people are, but not the top ones. Todd Glass has a few times, which is surprising, but how many times can Dat Phan imitate his mom? How many "politically correct" sets can Ralphie May do? That set Tuesday night was not a comedy routine. It was like he was trying to get a point across. Whatever it was, it wasn't funny. The crowd seemed to agree with me as well. And I like Ralphie. I just thought Tuesdays act was brutal.
-Even the contestants in the game realize who's making it to the end. The same people that made it to the end in each respecitve season. If people who watched the show liked John, Alonzo, and Gary enough to vote for them in Season 2 a month ago, I'm guessing those same people still like them. And next week when Gary, Alonzo, and Todd all go up against each other, and only one gets to end up staying, that's B.S. Especially when they're going up against these other three: Geoff, Tess, and Rich. It's not even close.
-For two weeks, we had to hear about a major twist in the first 10 minutes of “Survivor” that’s never happened before. That was overhyped. And was it really a “twist”? I mean, they killed a live pig, and there was a swearing in ritual. We already knew the teams were men vs. women. I wasn’t too impressed.
-However, I do like the way this season is shaping up. Nothing like putting all the guys together like they did in Marquesas, only to watch them stumble, fumble, and bumble all over themselves in the first Immunity Challenge. Well, only one guy did. Chris. Some balance that guy has, huh? Geez. You’re telling me a 59 year old woman named Scout can get across a balance beem, yet a middle aged, slightly overweight redneck can be given about 12 chances and can never get half way across? Single handedly cost them the challenge, yet, of course he doesn’t get the boot cuz’ the old guys conspire to start voting off the guys who can actually help the tribe. Never fails.
-You can almost begin to predict the casting for this show. Let’s make half the team good looking, rock hard, and super athletic, and let’s make the rest the complete opposite. The girls team has 4 attractive, somewhat athletic members, and five, well, not so attractrive members. Who’s gonna win out? For our sake, let’s hope the attractive people stay aboard, but I’m not holding my breath.
-In a game like “Apprentice”, you can kinda predict even at the beginning who’ll go a long way because you can tell my the way they talk, the way they carry themselves, and the way they lead. That pretty much works against you in Survivor. If you’re well spoken, dominant, and a good leader, you’re pretty much assured of not even making it to the jury. Too much of a threat. Granted, there have been some previous winners who possessed all those qualities, well, maybe just Richard Hatch and Brian Heidik who somehow fooled everyone enough to keep themselves around. But most people on “Survivor” resent you if you’re threat, whereas it helps you in “Apprentice”. As much as I like “Survivor”, only three people that have ever won actually deserved to win: Hatch, Zohn, and Heidik. Every other strong member from each season got screwed. What’s my point? Good question. Probably that there’s just more integrity in a game like “Apprentice” where the most qualified person will end up winning, where in “Survivor”, no matter how good you are, luck plays too big of a role.
-Have you checked out the “Benefactor”? Mark Cuban is just geeky enough to keep me glued to my set every week. I don’t care that there are no rules, I don’t care that he eliminates people whenever he feels like it, and I don’t care how ridiculous some of the games they play are. The characters are completely weird, and Cuban’s a nut job. Good enough for me.
-This guy with the rock star hair on “Benefactor”, what’s his deal? I’ve never seen a male care as much about his hair as this guy. And he’s supposed to be this “wildcard” during the season. The crazy character that keeps everyone entertained? What’s he done thus far? Have I missed something? He’s more annoying than anything.
-How about the other annoying guy that got the boot this week? I forgot his name, but he bugged. The guy who said he’ll be ahead of Mark Cuban on the Forbes list in 5 years, and GUARANTEED by next year, he’ll be making more money than the rest of the house combined. If he wants to act like a jackass, that’s his call. Whatever floats your boat. But did you see him wailing away after he got booted? Where did that come from? I thought he despised everyone and didn’t care what people thought of him? Cuban sends him home and he cries like a little girl for 30 seconds on camera. Hard. I’ve never seen a male cry that loud and that hard on a reality show. That was bizarre.
-I was a little disappointed in the “Amish in the City” finale. I thought the Amish kids were supposed to make up their minds whether or not they wanted to return to the Amish faith? Every single one of them left the door open for a return, but then didn’t commit to choosing the city life either. No surprise that Miriam and Ruth didn’t choose to go back. Jonas either. Mose and that other guy with the10 year old girl voice seemed leaning towards going back Amish, which was understandable.
-How come every guy on that show by the end of the series had haircuts that almost all resembled Reese’s freaky do’? The last person I expected to get a haircut like Reese was Kevan. Then Nick, the Oscar de la Hoya look-a-like, had the same thing going as well too. Bizarro.
-I think I figured out what disappointed me most about that show. Nobody had sex. Isn’t that the point of throwing 11 strangers into a house? And there really weren’t any good fights, either. Yeah, Kevan and Reese had their little spat when Kevan accused Reese of wanting him, another bizarre moment. And a couple people yelled at some other people for not doing dishes. But that’s normal stuff. I needed to see some pillow fights, some claw scratching, and some f-bombs being thrown around. This nicey nice stuff was too much for me.
-Next week, I’m gonna hit on the new season of the “Real World”. Gotta get caught up on a couple of episodes. And yes, I finally have TiVo. Yet, I still find myself watching the same shows I did before, with maybe one or two extra thrown in. But it just means I won’t miss anything ever again. You know what the best part about TiVo is? The sound it makes when you change the channel. “Bo-boop. Be-bop. Dong.” Love it
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